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Five Spot / Quick hitters on the light side

1. NO ROADS SCHOLAR

State police in western Pennsylvania arrested a man for public drunkenness after witnesses saw him trying to resuscitate a dead possum along a highway, the Associated Press reported.

Best rumor, but quickly quashed: It was just a West Virginia fan on his way home from the regionals in Buffalo.

2. FUN WHILE IT LASTED

Q: Why were Kentucky's juniors so inconsolable after the Wildcats' Elite Eight loss to West Virginia?

A: They'd hoped to send their freshmen out on a championship note.

3. RAISING HIS GAME

Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski had to sit on a stool to see the elevated court for South Regional games at Houston's Reliant Stadium, and it didn't sit well.

"I never got comfortable," Krzyzewski told AP. "I felt like I was back in Catholic school and I did something wrong -- except there are no marbles to kneel on or anything."

4. LOADED TO THE GILLS

Police in Marietta, Ga., say Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown had a blood-alcohol level nearly twice the legal limit -- .158 -- and failed a field sobriety test when he was arrested on a DUI charge March 20.

Which certainly gives credence to the expression "drunk as a Fish."

5. BLACK & BLUES DEPT.

The Blues are runaway leaders in the NHL's Central Division in penalty minutes, five-minute majors and 10-minute misconducts.

In other words, Beat Me in St. Louis.

-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times

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