1. NO ROADS SCHOLAR
State police in western Pennsylvania arrested a man for public drunkenness after witnesses saw him trying to resuscitate a dead possum along a highway, the Associated Press reported.
Best rumor, but quickly quashed: It was just a West Virginia fan on his way home from the regionals in Buffalo.
2. FUN WHILE IT LASTED
Q: Why were Kentucky's juniors so inconsolable after the Wildcats' Elite Eight loss to West Virginia?
A: They'd hoped to send their freshmen out on a championship note.
3. RAISING HIS GAME
Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski had to sit on a stool to see the elevated court for South Regional games at Houston's Reliant Stadium, and it didn't sit well.
"I never got comfortable," Krzyzewski told AP. "I felt like I was back in Catholic school and I did something wrong -- except there are no marbles to kneel on or anything."
4. LOADED TO THE GILLS
Police in Marietta, Ga., say Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown had a blood-alcohol level nearly twice the legal limit -- .158 -- and failed a field sobriety test when he was arrested on a DUI charge March 20.
Which certainly gives credence to the expression "drunk as a Fish."
5. BLACK & BLUES DEPT.
The Blues are runaway leaders in the NHL's Central Division in penalty minutes, five-minute majors and 10-minute misconducts.
In other words, Beat Me in St. Louis.
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times