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Five Spot / Quick hitters on the light side

1. TIGER TAMES THE TUBE

Tiger Woods will have a news conference the Monday before the Masters, and will take questions from reporters.

However, in order to minimize the potential audience, it will only be shown on NBC in prime-time.

2. NETS OFF THE HOOK

The New Jersey Nets guaranteed Friday night that they wouldn't be alone in having the worst record in NBA history, winning their ninth game.

When the Nets' game ended, the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers (9-73) raised a glass and toasted the Nets . . . . using expired milk.

3. FAMILIAR FOREIGNER

Former Foreigner lead singer Lou Gramm performed the national anthem before Saturday's lacrosse game between the Bandits and Knighthawks in Rochester.

When asked if he had ever heard Gramm in person before, one Bandit replied, "It feels like the first time."

4. LOW ABOVE CAYUGA'S WATERS

It was a tough week for Cornell athletics in NCAA Tournament play. On Thursday, the basketball team lost to Kentucky. On Friday, the hockey team dropped a one-sided decision to New Hampshire.

Expect the Big Red to suggest that a pregame written test be added to the protocol for all future events.

5. KID'S GOT THE TOUCH

A Chicago teenager supposedly was the only person in the CBSsports.com bracket pool to get the first NCAA 48 games right.

If true, it's clearly time for him to stop worrying about basketball and start worrying about tomorrow's lottery numbers.

-- Budd Bailey

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