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Five Spot / Quick hitters on the light side

Western New Yorkers love their sports, and love to laugh about them, too. In this new feature, found here Monday through Friday, News sports staff reporters look to poke the sports world's funny bone.

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Paging Jet Blue

Alex Rodriguez will meet with federal agents in Buffalo on Friday to discuss the feds' case against a Canadian doctor linked to Rodriguez who is accused of providing athletes with illegal drugs.

This could get ugly: The Steinbrenner family is refusing to pay for A-Rod's flight here, claiming his stupidity is a pre-existing condition.

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Colorful statement

Organizers of the Tavistock Cup golf exhibition in Orlando, Fla., on Monday required sports writers to wear a red or blue shirt -- the team colors of the opposing golf teams -- to get in to cover the tournament.

The Professional Golf Writers Association released this statement: "What is the Tavistock Cup, again?"

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Bracket filibuster

President Obama ranks 341,262nd among entrants in ESPN.com's NCAA men's bracket contest. The president had picked Kansas to go all the way, but the Jayhawks lost over the weekend to Northern Iowa.

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel reacted by firing Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who had told the president the Jayhawks were too big to fail.

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Numbers game

NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson has won four of the first eight Sprint Cup Series races of the season, but he still trails two other drivers in the points standing.

That news prompted Iraqi elections officials in Baghdad to comment, "Wow, that NASCAR points system is really messed up."

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Give him strength

Tiger Woods wore a Buddhist bracelet during two TV interviews on Sunday. He said it was for "protection and strength."

Reached in Tibet for comment, the Dalai Lama said, "So he's got that going for him. Which is nice."

-- Greg Connors

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THURSDAY: The Carey Brothers are nationally recognized experts on home building and renovation. Their column, "On the House," will take you through the details of attacking one project a week and finishing it like a pro, every Thursday in Life & Arts.

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