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At odds over parents meeting

Dear Abby:I've been dating "Amanda" for eight months and everything is going great. I've met her parents, and she has met mine. Two days ago, I mentioned that we should plan a dinner with both sets of parents since they have not met yet. Amanda told me that our parents shouldn't meet until we move in together or are engaged. I felt offended. When do you think is the right time for our parents to meet?

-- It's Only Dinner!

Dear Only Dinner: I disagree with your girlfriend. There are no hard and fast rules these days about when the parents of couples should meet. And after eight months, I would think both sets of parents would be interested in meeting each other.


Friend doesn't want visitors

Dear Abby: I have a close friend, "Darlene," whom I have known for 30 years. She has never once in all that time invited me into her home. Darlene never has anyone inside except for immediate family. If you go there to take her something, she greets you outside if she knows you're coming. If she doesn't, she won't answer the door.

She goes to other people's homes but never reciprocates. In groups that go from house to house, she will not take her turn. Even when her mother-in-law died she wouldn't receive people in her home. I find Darlene's behavior insulting. It has become a frequent topic of conversation. Please advise me why someone would never welcome anyone into her home.

-- Shut Out in Charlottesville

Dear Shut Out: Darlene may be ashamed of the way her house looks inside, or she may be a hoarder. If you really need an explanation, you should be asking her. In light of your 30-year friendship, please stop personalizing this because it appears her hang-up is long-standing and deep-seated. And to gossip about it behind her back seems cruel and won't help the situation.

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