The bad news: Your car dies. The good news: You are at the Broadway Market, and you won't go hungry, not with those pastries and strudels, you won't. The best news of all: You might be there permanently, because Triple A has no idea where the Broadway Market is! Buzz and a buddy had that experience Saturday, when our friend's car, parked in the ramp, refused to budge. She called Triple A. Their conversation went like this: "The Buffalo Market?" "No, the Broadway Market." "The Buffalo Market?" "No, the Broadway Market." "Where is that?" Etc. Wisely, we crossed Gibson Street to the Three Deuces. We weren't going anywhere fast.
>Roll out the rumor
Alas, at the Grammy Awards, Buffalo polka king Jerry Darlak did not win the third Grammy he so richly deserved. This despite a pep rally at the Sportsmen's Tavern. Also a rumor, supposedly designed to boost his chances, that Darlak had died. "Airborne Eddy" Dobosiewicz, comedian and Poloniaphile, said that the rumor began in Chicago a couple of weeks before the awards, and crescendoed. Dozens of people were calling Darlak to ask if he was dead. Darlak griped about the situation in his usual polka-dotted language. "If they think I'm dead," he railed, "why the $%^#$ are they calling me at home?"
>Eat to the beat
We rejoice that there are still bands like local alt rockers Free Henry!, who played UB's Allen Hall last week. You had to love lead singer Bob Buckley's knit hat, like a bathing cap. And the stuffed gopher mascot, named Henry. That older couple in the balcony with their hands over their ears -- had to be one of the band member's parents. Finally, the folks in the front row had feet, including two bare feet, up on the stage. Just like at the old classical music concerts here! On break, WBFO's Bert Gambini interviewed the band. And drummer Pat Mannella offered this nugget: As he chews, he finds new rhythms. He will bite into something, then rush to his drums. "A nice turkey sub," he said. "That'll do wonders."
>Cooking the books
Don't bother knocking -- the library's a-rocking! On a recent lunchtime visit to the downtown library, Buzz found the cafe jammed with laughing people, a saxophone wailing over the sound system. Even the Encore Editions book shop, where we piously bought two Gregorian chant LPs the library had no more use for, was grooving, with pop pouring from a radio. "We're a hip library," the clerk beamed. Ha, ha! Who misses those grouchy old librarians? Not us! Can we request "Shakespeare My Butt" for the Classic Lit Room? And for the History Room, how about Franz Ferdinand?
When life gives you lemons, remember the words of the great Dr. Lonnie Smith at the Albright-Knox. "This organ is broke," griped the giggly Turbaned One as his recent show began. "But I'm going to continue with this concert and we're going to have fun." ... Can't make Andre Watts' BPO concert Feb. 21? All is not lost. Watts, the famed concert pianist, is donating his time to play a private home Feb. 23 to benefit AIDS Community Services. Admission is $250. Buy your ticket, and they'll tell you where it is. Most clandestine! Call (212) 997-7717.
"Joseph Ellicott and Lance Diamond are now friends."-- Recent Facebook announcement