The bad news: Your car is stolen. The good news: You get to visit a police station. One night last week, the B station at Main and Tupper made Buzz forget that our recently stolen Buick Century was now being used to make drug runs and commit heinous crimes. First there were the folks ahead of us at the counter. Two guys and a girl, and the girl was draped over one of the guys, and all three, as they made their report, were stuffing their faces with chips and soda. Like this was a party! Next we saw a poster taped to a window. "MISSING: HARLEY," it read. A picture showed a bedeviled-looking dog. "HE DOES NOT KNOW ANYONE IN THIS AREA. IF YOU SEE HIM DO NOT APPROACH HIM. THAT ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE." Yikes! What if Harley's got our car?
>Busting out all over
The summer party season: We have liftoff. Friday, the Hellenic Festival ran out of lettuce. Houston, we have a problem! Also that night, the new and improved Moondance, the catamaran that sails off Shanghai Red's, made its maiden voyage. Two beverages were available for this first trip: beer and water. What else do you need? Meanwhile, it was also a weekend for dress-up. At Friday's M*A*S*H Bash, an alarming number of men opted to ape Klinger, the character who dressed like a woman. Better still, at Saturday's Artists and Models affair, a guy dressed as Hef. This is going to be a great summer. We just know.
>A rare jewel
Monday morning, Buzz found something we've always sought: the anti-Monday. You know Eric, the jewelry guy? You see him on Elmwood and on Hertel, smiling, wearing his wares around his neck. Monday, Buzz saw Eric on the No. 11 bus. He never sat down. Instead, he chatted, in his sunny way, with the driver, who asked lots of questions about wire and gems. Buzz swooned with envy. We dreaded the work week. Our shoes hurt. We were weighed down with books and papers. In contrast, Eric looked free, with his long hair, loose cotton vest and hippie shorts. "I like to know that any day I want, I can throw everything out, and start all over again," we heard him say.
Would that every celeb could be as demure as Magnolia, who aced Saturday's Wonders of the World Waddle. Three hundred basset hounds competed in the Waddle, held by ABC Basset Rescue at Fantasy Island. (Why not Bassett Park? Waaaah! Or, rather, Ahoooooo!) Magnolia won the blue ribbon as Best Rescue Dog. But she was shy, and spent most of the rest of the day hiding under the Slobber Shoppe, the picnic table that held doggie items for sale. Her owner sighed, "All you could see was her leash." Would that we could say the same for Paris Hilton.
On ABC Basset Rescue's Web site, dreamily scanning "Available Bassets," Buzz read: "Toby has trouble with resource guarding and little ones don't understand they can't take things away from him. Resource guarding means that he is aggressive if someone tries take his food or bones." Ha, ha! We see a lot of resource guarding in Buffalo. ... The land of the free, the home of the brave shredders. Seen downtown, a truck boldly labeled as belonging to American Document Destruction Services, a Grand Island company. It had a patriotic picture of Old Glory.
"MUST SELL ... GETTING MARRIED."
-- Ad in The News' classified section for 1979 Camaro