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The Onion keeps it real

The satire masters at the Onion published a report on the "shocking abuses" that today's children are subjected to by their parents, at least according to the kids:

"Encouraged to speak freely and confidentially about their home lives, subjects shocked even seasoned child welfare advocates with tales of systematic deprival and gratuitous cruelty. One Illinois boy told of being forced to linger with his mother in fabric stores and later leaving a Toys "R" Us empty-handed, even though the store sold a water gun he really wanted. An Arkansas 9-year-old said he spent all of third grade carrying a boring brown backpack instead of a super-cool Spider-Man one like a friend, whose parents love him, had.  ...

According to the report, a shocking 100 percent of children who claimed to have been abused said their parents repeatedly answered 'maybe' to a request, and then withheld from them a definitive answer for hours or, in some cases, days."

Who knew that "maybe" was leaving such deep emotional scars? Will this shocking Onion expose open our eyes and make our generation totally surrender to our kids' need for instant gratification?

We'll see.

-- Greg

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