Share this article

print logo

Off Main Street The offbeat side of the news

Lost and found

It's not a holiday miracle, but David Kausch just might be the luckiest Bills fan around.

His improbable tale began at the Dec. 3 Bills-Chargers game. The Bills lost the game, and Kausch was well on his way to his Amherst home when he realized he had lost his wallet, too.

He went back to Ralph Wilson Stadium and retraced his steps. Bills employees said he couldn't go back inside, but they would call if his wallet turned up.

Kausch called the team repeatedly, but had no luck.

Fast forward to last Sunday's Bills-Dolphins game, which found Kausch in the same seats.

He looked all around but didn't find his billfold. However, later in the game, the woman sitting behind him asked Kausch if he had lost his wallet.

She was pointing to a wallet wedged between two seats. It was damp from two weeks of exposure, but all his cash and bank cards were still there.

He told everyone around him the story.

"They couldn't believe it," Kausch said.

***

Whiny weather man

The Dolphins' performance against the Bills didn't give Greg Cote much material for his Monday Miami Herald column, but the weather inspired him.

It began: "Steady, misting rain fell from a sky the color of ashes. Wind gusted to 25 mph as temperatures sank into the 40s. Folks around Buffalo have a word for a mid-December day like this one: 'Balmy.' "

Later, he described "weather that looked like a Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce video titled, 'Why New Yorkers move to South Florida.' "

These jokes always seem funnier when the Bills win.

***

Indecent proposal

Bill Kindel is known for using colorful analogies at Amherst Town Board meetings. But Monday brought an awkward example of his folksy phrasing.

Lawmakers were discussing Amherst's negotiations with a developer to buy the Gramercy Park site, desired by the town for use as a flood control area.

Kindel didn't want this discussed at an open meeting, and he groped for a useful analogy.

"It's like making love in public," he said.

His remark drew awkward chuckling but mostly stunned silence from the audience.

During the public comment session, though, one high school student reprimanded him.

"Mr. Kindel, that was inappropriate," the student said.

For Darlene M. Torbenson, a meeting regular and fan of Kindel's usual commentary, this remark was a bit unsettling.

"It puts something in your mind that you don't want to have at a meeting," she told Off Main.

***

Is it Tim O'Hortons?

It was a drizzly evening in the ancient city of Galway, Ireland, when two Western New Yorkers took a stroll across the Corrib River on the city's oldest bridge.

The William O'Brien Bridge was packed with people walking fast against the raindrops, carrying parcels tied with string, backpacks full of books -- and a cardboard Tim Hortons coffee cup.

When they turned around, the coffee sipper had vanished.

Later in the week, a detour into the Spar grocery store that sits steps from the bridge told all.

In the back, a Tim Hortons display took up one wall -- trays of doughnuts, urns of coffee and the bright cups and bags.

In the land of Guinness, some people still lift a cup to Timmy.

***

Porcelain politics

We're not sure whether Joel Giambra was speaking from personal experience.

At a news conference Friday concerning the benefits of merging sewer districts, he mentioned that sewers are not usually "an emotional issue."

But it can be emotional, the county executive added, for those who are forced after a night out "to hug the toilet."

Written by Stephen T. Watson with contributions from Bruce Andriatch, Anne Neville and Tom Ernst.

e-mail: offmain@buffnews.com

There are no comments - be the first to comment