St. Patrick's Day is almost here, and boy, you're ready. You've got your Guinness and your big floppy leprechaun hat, and there are a half-dozen paper shamrocks with your name on them posted in local watering holes. You're getting ready for the parade, too, along with your Irish setters and Irish wolfhounds in their green bandanas. The countdown has begun!
But first, a quick question.
On St. Patrick's Day, everyone is...
B) An engineer.
Did you say A? Bzzzzzzz! Wrong!
The answer is, all of the above.
St. Patrick, for your information, is not only the patron saint of Ireland. He's also the patron saint of engineers, Nigeria, excluded people and other stuff, too. (Want to know what? Check out www.catholic.org or a host of other authorities.)
As you prepare for his feast day, maybe there are a few other things you didn't know, too.
It's time to test your knowledge.
1.) Tonight at 8 in the Unitarian Universalist Church on Elmwood Avenue, the concert series Classics on Elmwood is presenting a Celtic group called Trefoyle. In the group, Glenda Brown sings in a style called sean nos. Sean nos means:
A) A distinctively nasal Gaelic style (literally, Sean's nose). B) Old style. C) Old Milwaukee. D) Old Crow.
2.) Let's get this straight once and for all. St. Patrick lived in Ireland, but his ancestry was:
A) German. B) Roman. C) Greek. D) Tonawandan.
3.) Besides the other things we just talked about, St. Patrick is the patron saint of:
A) Diseases of the liver. B) Diseases of the heart. C) Ohio. D) Erie, Pa.
4.) The Ninth annual St. Patrick, St. Joseph and Dyngus Day Party takes place Sunday, March 26, from 3 to 8 p.m. in the Buffalo Irish Center, 245 Abbott Road. Which of the following beverages will be served?
A) Guinness Stout. B) Chianti. C) Stolyichnaya. D) All of the above.
5.) Which comes first?
A) St. Patrick's Day. B) St. Joseph's Day. C) Dyngus Day. D) The order changes, depending on the moon.
6.) The tri-ethnic party's logo is:
A) A leprechaun holding pizza and pussy willows. B) "Airborne Eddy" Dobosiewicz holding a shamrock and pizza. C) A leprechaun holding "Airborne Eddy" Dobosiewicz. D) A Buffalonian holding a tray of JELL-O shots.
7.) After the party, friends head back to your house, and you want to wake everyone up with some good old Irish coffee. How much Irish whiskey do you add per cup of coffee?
A) One half-teaspoon. B) One jigger. C) One cup. D) Forget the coffee -- you just pour that whiskey straight.
8.) The Amherst Gaelic League's annual St. Patrick's Day party, which takes place at 5 p.m. next Friday in the Hearthstone Manor in Depew, has been called the best deal in town, with its live music, sumptuous buffet, open bar and admission price of $25 ($30 at the door). Who can honestly claim to have received the party's Man of the Year honor?
A) Kevin Townsell, restaurateur. B) Patrick Gallivan, former sheriff. C) Frank Clark, district attorney. D. Jimmy Griffin, former mayor.
9.) As additional entertainment, the Amherst Gaelic League's party will feature a Rince Na Tiarna dancer who is the champion step dancer of...
A) South Buffalo. B) Erie County. C) Western New York. D) the world.
10.) What is the shelf life of Bailey's Irish Cream?
A) One year. B) Two years. C) Forever. D) Oh, who knows? Ours is always gone in a few hours.
11.) At 10 p.m. next Friday, Nietzsche's kicks off its annual St. Patrick's Day bash with Sonic Garden, the Little Mountain Band, and, between sets, the Complete Unknowns. But you might want to get there at 6 p.m. for the bar's Hour of Repose, where you'll find...
A) $2.50 pints of Guinness. B) $2.50 pints of Bass Ale. C) A band called the Stumblers. D) Bar patrons called the stumblers.
12.) At 8 p.m. next Friday, the Dustmen, Scottish fiddler Ashley MacLeod and the Woodgate Irish Dancers will rock the Fredonia Opera House. The Dustmen have been described as ...
A) "More fun than a barrel of Guinness!" B) "Saltier than salt potatoes!" C) "Huger than Billy Fuccillo!" D) "Bigger than Brendan Behan!"
13.) Quick, we should all know these things. Who's at the Sportsmen's Tavern for St. Patrick's Day next Friday?
A) The Stumblers -- they get around. B) Bluesman Mr. Conrad. C) Danny Boy. D) It's Friday, so it must be the Sportmen, the house band.
14.) During last year's St. Patrick's Day season, The Buffalo News reported that the Rince Na Tiarna dancers had how many performances?
A.) 29. B.) 39. C.) 59. D.) 2,359.
15.) This year's St. Patrick's Day parade down Delaware Avenue gets started at 2 p.m. March 19, while the "Old Neighborhood" begins at noon March 18 at the Valley Community Center, near the intersection of South Park Avenue and Elk Street. A foot and a half of snow and frigid temperatures caused the Delaware Avenue parade to be delayed by one week in what year?
A) 1963. B) 1973. C) 1983. D) 1993.
16.) In-demand Celtic touring band Danu plays Rockwell Hall at Buffalo State College at 8 p.m. March 31. (Tickets are $28; call 878-3005.) Danu comes from:
A) Ireland. B) Halifax, Nova Scotia. C) Scotland. D) Tifft Street.
17.) Oh, Paddy dear, and did you hear the news that's going round?
A) The shamrock is forbid by law to grow on Irish ground. B) I've lost my pint o'Guinness, got to check the Lost and Found. C) O'Leary fell into a vat of Irish stew and drowned. D) I've adopted a big old mangy Irish setter from the pound.