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A WASTE, OF 'MILLIONS'

Millions *

Rating: PG

Have you ever had an experience you would give anything to forget? Of course, you have. Whether it was embarrassing, stupid, extremely boring, humiliating or all of the above, it's just something you don't want to look back on. That is exactly how I feel about the movie "Millions."

I'm not going to lie; the movie was awful. I dragged my dad with me, and throughout the entire show I could sense the death look I was receiving from him. I half expected him to walk out of the theater and leave me there, because the film was excruciatingly painful to watch.

"Millions" is a British film directed by Danny Boyle. The movie needs subtitles because you can't understand the accents of the actors until you become accustomed to them. Whatever was said in the first 10 minutes was pretty much beyond me, because I didn't catch more than a word or two during this period.

Anyway, the movie is about a widower father (James Nesbitt) and his two sons, 7-year-old Damian (Alex Etel) and 9-year-old Anthony (Lewis McGibbon), who move to a nice little neighborhood in Manchester, England. The two boys are extremely different. Damian is obsessed with saints and doing the right thing while his brother is more worldly and selfish. These differences become more apparent when a bag of money falls from the sky onto Damian's head. Because England is changing its currency to the Euro, the boys have only a few weeks to spend all the money before it becomes worthless. The older brother uses some of his cash to buy friends and plans on investing in order to make more money and the younger gives his money away as if it was nothing. With visions of saints frequently appearing to him, trying to help him choose those who are most in need, Damian tries to help as many people as is humanly possible for a boy who is only 7.

Unfortunately, a shady character and a sense of where the money came from forces the boys to let a few people in on their little secret. And everything seems to go downhill from there. After that, a lot of angry words, arguments, scandals and disappointments occur.

Basically, if you get around the religious aspect of it, the film is one big, long, boring lecture on how money is the root of all evil. I hated it. That point could have been made in five minutes instead of what felt like five hours. It deserves no stars. But I don't know if I'm allowed to give a movie no stars, so we'll just say it gets a star for effort. I mean, I'm the type of person who likes bloody, scary movies with a complex plot, but I tried to be open-minded about this one. But it just didn't do much for me or many other people in the audience from what I heard. So everyone can save their time and skip this one, and thank me for the 98 minutes I suffered so you wouldn't have to.

Samantha Salada is a sophomore at Starpoint Central.