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Dear Abby: I have been married to "Sam" for 20 years. He is a wonderful husband and provider. When I married Sam, we had nothing; now we have a home and rental properties.

My family seems to be jealous of the financial success we have achieved. My siblings make snide comments and have pulled away.

It came to a head the other night when my youngest sister announced to the family that I had gone online and anonymously threatened her family. Abby, I have never been anything but kind to them. They have an open invitation to visit our home and swim, and I have even bought her children clothing and shoes when she was unable to.

I don't understand this, and I'm very hurt. Please help me to put this in perspective, because I am fully aware that money cannot buy happiness -- happiness comes from family and loved ones.

-- Wrongly Accused in Arkansas
Dear Wrongly Accused: Your sister may be jealous, may have mental problems -- or may just have a need to be the center of attention. Since you have been generous with her, it may be time to realize that loving relationships are reciprocal. If your relatives are put off by what you and your husband have accomplished, the problem is really theirs, and you can't fix it.

P.S. If your sister did, in fact, receive a threatening e-mail, rather than accusing you, she should have informed the police.

Keep busy while waiting

Dear Abby: I have known "Cassie" for more than a year. We both like each other a lot, but she has asked me to "give her a few weeks" because she needs to regain the trust she lost because of her ex. Well, it has been six weeks, and we barely even talk anymore because she's so busy with work and extracurricular activities. What should I do?

-- Matthew in Indiana
Dear Matthew: Get busy with YOUR work and extracurricular activities. That way you'll have less time to worry about Cassie, who, from my perspective, is nowhere near ready for another relationship with anyone.

Confidential to Aspiring Actress in Acton, Calif.: Remember that "average" is as close to the bottom as it is to the top. There's a show business axiom: "A person's career usually lasts as long as the time spent preparing for it." So don't settle for less than your potential; always keep striving for the best.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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