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Holiday Stories Even First Sunday is Too Spineless to Print: Fourth Anniversary Edition

Elves Gone Wild: The truth behind late-night toy testing.

He Sees You When You're Sleeping: Santa's extra-special secrets.

Making a List, Checking It Twice: The delicate art of recycling gifts.

Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh and Aqua Velva: The fourth, not-so-Wise man.

Silent Night: A walk through HSBC's 300-level seats during a Sabres game. Word Up: Gov. Pataki tells heartwarming holiday stories to young patients of Children's Hospital on how politicians will say anything and sell out anyone just to stay in power. With a special guest video from George W. Bush.

General Tso's Chicken and a Double Feature: The Jewish guide to Christmas. I, Me, Mine: An American child's guide to the holidays.

The Five-Hour Flu: Lying your way out of holiday parties and family obligations.

Phone Home: The Lackawanna holiday gift guide, featuring the new "SleeperCell" Phone that allows you to place international calls that cannot be traced by the Justice Department. Each purchase includes a gift certificate for a "huge meal" at your favorite restaurant.

And reprinted from a previous edition by popular demand ...

I Saw Mommy Call the Cops on Santa Claus (Who Turned Out to Be Daddy Who Kept Ignoring a Court Order For Child Support): Children of Divorce Speak Out. A perennial favorite.

Christmas in the Sauna With Burl Ives: A memoir.