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Ms. Cruz or Mrs. Cruise?

First it was J. Lo and Ben, then Russell and Nicole and now -- Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz? A not-so-secret, secret romance or wedding is the hottest Hollywood trend.

Star-watchers have been working overtime to inflame rumors that Cruise and Cruz are planning a secret wedding. According to Britain's Daily Star, the couple is planning a romantic $2 million ceremony on the Mediterranean island of Malta.

The paper indicates that a host of stars, including Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Nicolas Cage, Lisa Marie Presley, Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones will be flying to an island for the celebration.

Reported to be Cruz's maid of honor is Melanie Griffith, along with Penelope's sister Monica, while the couple's "Vanilla Sky" director Cameron Crowe will be the best man. The couple met on the set of that movie. The paper doesn't say what date was set for the wedding, and, of course, there is no confirmation from either actor's publicist -- yet.

Time is money

Russell Crowe, who is much more of a gentleman than his detractors would have us believe, doesn't stint on presents for his stunning partner, Danielle Spencer. The Oscar-winner bought a $10,000 Cartier watch at Wempe Jewelers on Fifth Avenue for his beloved the other day. Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Jennifer Lopez sent her personal assistant into the Tourneau Time Machine on East 57th Street to buy a $15,000 Omega Seamaster watch for her fiance, Ben Affleck.

The queen would kill him

Queen Elizabeth's husband has dismissed reports he called his late daughter-in-law Princess Diana a "harlot" and a "trollop" in the latest embarrassing controversy for Britain's royal family.

"Prince Philip wishes to make it clear that at no point did he ever use the insulting terms described in media reports, nor that he was curt or unfeeling in what he wrote," read an unusually long statement from the royal household.

The denial came after a report in the Mail Sunday tabloid newspaper two weeks ago in which Diana's self-styled "energy healer" Simone Simmons said she had been shown insulting letters from Philip to the princess, who died in a 1997 Paris car crash.

"He regards the suggestion that he used such derogatory terms as a gross misrepresentation of his relations with his daughter-in-law and hurtful to his grandsons," added the statement from Buckingham Palace. The latest scandals to beset the royals have sent public support for them to its lowest level for 15 years -- 43 percent -- according to an ICM poll for the Guardian newspaper earlier this week.

Who nose what's next?

The Los Angeles Times is wondering how the jury could have focused on the breach-of-contract case when the more pointed issue in the Santa Maria, Calif., courtroom where defendant Michael Jackson testified last week is the pop star's nose. An apparent plastic surgery lifer, he seems to have gone under the knife so many times that the tip of his raw-looking schnoz now comes to a point.

"In his zeal to have this sharply defined nose, he's had so many things done, the tissue is no longer able to withstand it. The skin is so thin from operations that the bone or cartilage or silicone implant is pushing through," said Dr. Les Bolton, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, who made his assessment, as did other doctors, after looking at photos shot in court.

Can this nose be saved? Never say never, say doctors, especially about the king of Neverland.

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