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"I suppose if I lost 20 pounds, I could play different parts. Right now, I'm just enjoying myself."

- "The Sopranos" star James Gandolfini, in the New York Post, quoted on e!online

A passion crescendo

Remember that couple at the Bills game who did the nasty, right in their seats? Now it's happening in opera, too! Opera Ontario, having changed its name from Opera Hamilton, is apparently trying to change its reputation. Hyping Donizetti's "The Elixir Of Love," the opera folks become, frankly, seedy. "During the opening night performance, ushers report that a couple in the back of the balcony seem to have been bewitched by the Elixir of Love," they write. "What began as romantic pecks ... soon developed into something decidedly more adult. In order not to disrupt the performance, and because those around them did not seem to notice, the ushers let the couple continue. Eventually they completed their activities..." Eeeuuw! Please, show us the way back to the end zone!

Air of superiority

Democracy will never die, and neither will the claims of every radio station in town that, since what are usually referred to as "the events of Sept. 11," they have been indispensable to us. WBFO, in the throes of its current pledge drive, gassed on about: "We have been with you, like a trusted friend." WNED couldn't help handing us a similar line: "Classical music was a comfort on Sep. 11., and it will continue to be a comfort." WYRK, in between booming "America Will Prevail!" promises they'll keep us posted. Can we send these broadcasts to Afghanistan, just to send bin Laden bolting from his cave, his hands over his ears? Just an idea.

Live wire

Marvin Hamlisch wrote "A Chorus Line" - but he saved his finest lines for his appearance over the weekend at Kleinhans Music Hall. What a card! Hamlisch griped about CNN. He advised us to limit viewing to one hour a day. "That's enough," he told us. "And if anything big happens, you've got a friend who will call you and say, "Did you see that?'" In his finest hour, the maestro took aim at the hallowed hall itself. "Not to criticize this hall," he said, "but when you're playing the piano, you look up, for inspiration. And you see all those wires!" He pointed to the ceiling. "It looks like my West Side apartment where we'd do anything not to call an electrician. Twenty four billion dollars this place cost? You'd think someone would have said, like my mother used to say: "I don't want to see wires.'"


Forget the exotic diseases being bandied about these days. Our real fear is of the antiseptics! At a West Seneca restaurant, a buddy of Buzz's recently found himself assailed by a Windex-spraying wait staff. "It's an antiseptic," the waitress said, when he complained. Our own experience was even worse: At Mastman's on Hertel Avenue, our lunch was interrupted by a mop-wielding woman who filled the room with the strong smell of cleaning fluid. Our herring salad sandwich, while pungent, couldn't compete with that! Finally, at Don Pablo's, Buzz faced a bartender spraying what smelled like Lysol right under our nose. How unappetizing! Wouldn't our family-sized margarita kill any germs?

The buzz

Sugar alert! Wilson Farms is now carrying Krispy Kremes. And there's a gaggle around the case, as people debate whether to buy single doughnuts or boxes of 12 or whatever. (Buzz went for the box of 50. Hey, just dump them at our door.) ... And Sometimes Y, rock chicks extraordinaire, are back for a reunion at the Tralf on Friday. Leah Zicari opens, and on the bandstand will be former Ethyl babes Cass Postek, Debbie Ritch and bassist Jackie LoBuglio, plus Pam Taylor on keyboards, Debbie McDermott, Karen Taylor, Kelly Chiemielewski and Megan Corcoran.


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