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YOU'LL KNOW WHEN THE VINO GOES TO YOUR HEAD

There are wine aficionados and there are genuine certified wine nuts.

Maybe such devotion to wine is simply a matter of degree. But, where does the difference lie?

You might want to see your friendly neighborhood therapist if you exhibit one or two of the following symptoms. Most of this list comes from an interesting non-commercial Internet site called www.stratsplace, described as "a celebration of wine and gardens and the arts."

The ideas were contributed by wine lovers from all over the country and we think they offer - can we say this? - food for thought.

You know you're a wine nut if:

When people say "Red, White and...," and you immediately think "Rose."

You think that raisins are a waste of a grape.

You finally realize that "Appellation Controlle" is French for "Trust Me."

The UPS delivery takes a coffee break at your house every day.

You think that the opposite of the color white is red.

You didn't know that Burgundy is a color.

When friends come over, you insist they play wine trivia.

You are excited playing the game of matching a wine to the perfect celebrity. (Just think of the possibilities.)

At a restaurant, everyone gets bored waiting for you to order because you spend so much time with the wine list.

You always know what wine other people like to drink.

You know that a "punt" is not always a football play and "brix" is not always what the third little pig's house was made of.

The first thing you would save when escaping your burning house is your favorite bottle of wine.

You find yourself swirling your Kool-Aid.

You find yourself swirling a glass of water. (I've actually done this in an absent-minded moment.)

You can't open a bottle of Coke or beer without sniffing the capsule.

People have stopped asking you to bring the wine because they know you will anyway.

You know what wine goes with blueberry pancakes.

You sniff the cork board at work.

You get annoyed at mistakes on wine lists in restaurants.

You ask the bartender for your beer at room temperature.

By this time, you might even have a few "symptoms" of your own to suggest.

The e-mail address of this column follows. Please let us know.

e-mail jokun@buffnews.com

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