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Dear Ann Landers: May I respond to the woman who lost interest in sex after entering menopause? She said she tried drugs, physical exercise, therapy and finally gave up, believing her sex life was over. Your response to see a specialist was right on the money. I hope she listens.

I had a total hysterectomy at the age of 25. Until that time, I enjoyed a normal sex life. After the surgery, my libido went completely dead. I tried seeing counselors and doctors, but neither helped me. They dismissed my concerns as "emotional" and prescribed anti-depressants. They didn't work. At the age of 44, I finally saw a menopause expert who was a gynecologist and an endocrinologist. She put me on a daily routine of estrogen along with testosterone cream and an estrogen skin patch.

Within one month, I felt like a different person. She turned my life around, and I felt alive for the first time in 20 years. Please urge your female readers to see a doctor who knows what he or she is doing. Sign me

-- Frisky Again in Florida
Dear Frisky: Thank you for a letter that could improve the quality of life for a great many women. You were fortunate to hook up with a menopause expert who was a gynecologist and an endocrinologist. With proper medical help, you can remain "frisky" for many more years. Enjoy!

Trouble ahead

Dear Ann Landers: Last year, I married "Joe," a wonderful guy. We were both 24 years old and very much in love. Here's the problem: Neither of us is financially stable right now, and we are struggling to pay our bills. I am working hard on my career and continue to progress. I hope to be reaping the benefits of my hard work in less than five years. Joe, on the other hand, does nothing to get ahead.

I have been supporting us for the past year, often working 16-hour days. When I come home, Joe and I share the housework and cooking. Joe, however, often sleeps late, skips work entirely, or visits his friends and "forgets" to come home. He has no ambition whatsoever.

I love the guy. We get along great and enjoy each other's company. But I am losing respect for him because he is so lazy and unmotivated. Should I call it quits while we are still young and have no children, or should I stand by my man? Is he likely to change?

-- Conflicted in California
Dear Conflicted: You work 16-hour days while Joe sleeps late, visits friends and forgets to come home. You say you love the guy, you want to have a family and ask if he is likely to change. The answer is yes. He will probably get worse.

Will Joe be a responsible house-husband? Will he take good care of the children and do his share of the housework, cooking and laundry while you support the family? If you are both willing to have such an arrangement, things might work out. If not, you should dump this loser, and next time, before you get serious, make sure the man is self-supporting. It doesn't matter if you make a lot more money than your partner, but he should at least have a job.

Careful what you say

Dear Ann Landers: Yesterday, my husband and I were standing in line at the grocery store behind a nice-looking young woman who was chatting on her cell phone. During her conversation, she gave out her address, her phone number and the license plate of her new car. We were not trying to eavesdrop. The information was available for anyone within earshot.

Please tell your readers to be careful when they talk on their cell phones in public. Some unscrupulous person could get an earful.

-- Cautious in Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Dear Sioux Falls: You told 'em, and I thank you.

Problems? Dump on Ann. Write her at The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240.

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