Dear Ann Landers: I am a female bartender in a bowling alley. I don't have a huge clientele, but there is a men's league on Thursdays, and that makes up for days that are light on tips. I keep things on a "strictly business" basis, but I do a little flirting with the male customers, and they enjoy flirting back. Being friendly is part of my job, but it's all very innocent.
I was married a month ago, and my husband insists on hanging around the bar. "Eddie" seems to think I can use the company. Most of the time I don't mind, but on Thursdays, his presence really cuts into my tips. I feel uncomfortable being friendly with male customers when Eddie is around, and the guys avoid me like poison when they know my husband is watching.
Is there any way I can tell Eddie, tactfully, that I'd appreciate it if he stayed home on Thursdays?
-- New Bride in Boston
Dear Boston Bride: Why is Eddie hanging around your place of employment? The guy should find something else to do when you are working. Being friendly to the customers is part of your job, and if Eddie doesn't understand that, he's a pretty dense fellow.
On different clocks
Dear Ann Landers: I am writing in response to "Deadlocked in Spokane, Wash.," whose husband is a night owl and can't fall asleep unless the TV is on. She needs nine to 10 hours of sleep a night. She insists that "married couples should go to sleep at the same time and wake up together." You told her to invest in earplugs or so he could watch TV without disturbing her rest.
Those solutions are fine, but you missed something, Ann. Why on earth do married couples have to go to bed together and get up at the same time? I would never dream of making such demands on my husband.
-- Debi in Moorhead, Minn.
Dear Moorhead: You are right. It is ridiculous for married couples to force themselves to go to bed together and wake up at the same time. When sleeping patterns don't mesh, couples should work it out so that neither one is sleep-deprived.