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"I've been a broad since I was 3. Actually, I was about 40 when I was born."

- Shirley MacLaine on being labeled a "broad," in Us Weekly, quoted on

U2, Brute?

How dare U2 talk about an "Elevation Tour." With tickets on sale for the band's May 31 concert that go all the way up to $130 a pop, it's clear that "Bank Account Elevation Tour" would have been more appropriate. So joke a few U2 fans Buzz knows. They predict that when singer Bono and his buddies play HSBC Arena, we'll hear such classics as "One (Hundred Dollars for a Mid-Priced Ticket)," "(Our Prices Soar Like A) Kite," "Is That All (You Have In Your Wallet)?" and "Silver and Gold (Master Cards)." The hits come from such albums as "Boy (That's A Lot Of Money)," "October (Is When You'll Finally Pay Off Your Tickets)" and, of course, not "The Joshua Tree" but "The Money Tree." Encore, encore! How about the oldie "We Still Haven't Found What We're Looking For, Cash-Wise"? Notes one fan: "It's certainly not a Pro-Bono tour."

Wilde at heart - and at table

It's still a month until St. Patrick's Day! Which is why Dick Derwald, local men's makeup specialist, was naturally shocked to find himself seated at a table next to Irish playwright Oscar Wilde. Usually, let's be honest, this happens only after a couple of boilermakers. In Derwald's case, though, the situation was more exotic: Sean Patrick's, a restaurant on Millersport Highway, has included Wilde on a new mural of famous Irishmen, and they painted Derwald into the picture too, sitting right next to Wilde. Why such an honor for Derwald? "It's just one of those things," shrugged Sean Lillis of Sean Patrick's when Buzz asked. Unveiled Wednesday, the mural includes about a dozen other figures, a mishmash of famous Irishmen and people who, we guess, are simply family members and bar regulars. What an Irish stew! We can imagine posterity poring over it, puzzled, in, say, 200 years.

Sub human

The bad news: You're watching UB lose, miserably, that basketball game to Bowling Green. The good news: Free subs for everyone sitting in Section 6! Whee! There are few things in life that food can't fix, and Saturday night, when Santora's made that announcement, it cheered everyone up. What a bummer, then, when the free sub turned into a dopey coupon requiring us to buy one sub and beverage (Buzz hates the "beverage" part - it adds what, $2, to the cost?) and we'd get another sub of equal or lesser value free. There was the usual "Not valid with any other offer or coupon," blah blah blah. What a nasty world.

Viva la diva

Buzz got to know Geri Peters, the jazz singer who died Saturday at 75, when she was singing Sundays in the Anchor Bar. She had a boisterous style all her own. Forward and formidable, Peters would belt "I Thought About You" inches from the nearest listener's nose. Once she grinned, "I shoulda been a stripper." Recently, Peters' health kept her from getting out much. But a few Augusts ago, Buzz and our friend Diane took her to Martin Luther King Park for the Pine Grill Reunion jazz concert. It was a challenge: Diane helped Peters walk, while Buzz followed with the singer's lawn chair. People kept recognizing Peters and approaching her with deference, and one friend of ours, a 30-something guy, took us aside and asked, "Who is that stunning woman?" Stunning was the word for Peters. In heaven, we're sure she'll rock that house.

The buzz

Funny how "Charlotte's Web," the pig-loving, vegetarian-spawning fairy tale playing at the Theatre of Youth, is being sponsored by Wendy's. Doug Smith, ex-Courier Express newspaperman, points that out, and wants to know what's next. Hmmm. Buzz wonders. Penthouse sponsoring "The Vagina Monologues"? ... OK, so Abraham Lincoln, who served as host of Mohawk Place's Valentine's Day dance for jilted lovers (it's a long story), is a tough act to follow. The Contortionists are going to do their best, Saturday at 11 p.m., with a CD release party at Mohawk Place.

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