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CASTING HIS VOTE -- AND MOM'S

Dear Ann Landers: Now that the presidential election has come and gone, I feel the need to get something off my chest. My husband registered his 80-year-old mother to vote.

Mom has dementia and Alzheimer's and is unable to recognize her own grandchildren, so I seriously doubt that she has the capability to make an informed decision when it comes to voting. My husband applied for an absentee ballot on her behalf and completed it for her. That meant he got to vote twice.

As his wife, I am very disappointed and have lost a lot of respect for him. He won't admit that what he did was unethical and probably illegal.

He is also acting very smug about circumventing the system and seems quite pleased with himself.

I used to believe my husband was a man of great integrity, but I now have serious questions about his character.

He says I'm making a big deal out of nothing. What do you say, Ann Landers?

-- One Woman, One Vote in California
Dear California Woman: I say your husband showed a shameful lack of integrity by taking advantage of his mother's impaired mental condition. What he did was reprehensible.

Put this column under his dinner plate, and ask him if he recognizes anybody.

Seductive sister-in-law

Dear Ann Landers: I have been married to my husband for 30 years. We recently attended our son's wedding. It was a lovely event, except for one thing.

My husband's brother has a wife who is, shall we say, rather seductive. When I was dancing with my husband, "Norma" elbowed me out of the way to dance with him. She clasped her hands behind his neck and pulled him so close it was embarrassing. My brother-in-law, somewhat taken aback, grabbed me and said, "We should dance, too." I allowed him to lead me away from my husband and Norma.

Incidentally, her inappropriate behavior was noticed by other guests. Several of my co-workers asked me, "Who is that woman?" They wanted to know if Norma did that sort of thing all the time.

When we came home, I told my husband I was humiliated and angered by Norma's behavior and the fact that he did nothing to discourage it. It must not have sunk in because the very next week, he called his brother and made arrangements for the four of us to go out for dinner. I managed to be polite during the meal, but it was not a pleasant evening for me.

When my husband phones his brother, Norma always answers, and he winds up chatting with her for a half-hour or more. He knows this upsets me, but he says she always has a lot of "news" and it would be rude to cut her off. He insists she is just being friendly, as a sister-in-law should be.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My husband says my attitude is silly, but my instincts tell me there is serious flirting going on here. How should I handle it?

-- A Nervous Wife Out West
Dear Nervous: It is apparent that Norma has her eye on your husband and he is doing nothing to discourage her. Be upfront; let him know you are uncomfortable about the situation and you are not about to see your 30-year marriage endangered by this super-aggressive sister-in-law. Cut back on the dinners for four. Invite another interesting couple instead.

Meanwhile, don't punish your husband by withholding sex. Accelerate the bedroom activity. Your husband apparently needs a little more "spice" in his life. If you follow my game plan, I predict the storm clouds will disappear.

Problems? Dump on Ann. Write her at The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240.

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