YOU DON'T have to be smart to own a pet. The Iams Co. says it got these calls on its consumer hot line this year:
"I have trouble seeing what I'm scooping in my yard. Can your food turn my dog's poop pink?" -- dog owner, Ronkonkoma, N.Y.
"My two-year-old daughter loves the taste of Iams -- is it OK for her to eat it?" -- mother, Staten Island.
"I think if my dog received mail, it would build his character. Can I register him on your mailing list?" -- dog owner, Richmond, Va.
"What's up with my cat? She looks at me strangely when I sing and dance for her." -- cat owner, New York City.
"I'm thinking of setting up a kennel, and I was wondering . . . how much poop can 50 dogs make in one year?" -- dog owner, Davis, Calif.
"When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn. Is he peeing fire?" -- dog owner, Covington, Ky.
Iams can answer your own stupid questions at (800) 863-IAMS.
Prefer a slice of fruitcake?
CORPORATEGEAR.COM, an online promotional products company, has compiled a list of the wackiest and worst corporate Christmas gifts.
Among those that defy explanation: computer rear view mirrors, vibrating stress grenades and underwear in a can. Among the worst: 8-by-10-inch glossy photos of the boss, and alarm clocks with company logos.
Think of the possibilities, Sloan
SO MANY companies are changing their name to something Internetty, why shouldn't a municipality?
Halfway, Ore., pop. 306, has agreed to change its name to Half.com, at the request of a Conshohocken, Pa., Internet start-up.
"We were talking about how to get the company on the map and we said, 'Why don't we get on the map. Literally,' " said Joshua Kopelman, the 28-year-old chairman of Half.com.
As for the town, "Logging's gone, mining's gone, ranching's gone," said Mayor Dick Crow. "We've got to do something to survive or we're going to be a dead community."
The name change will give the place publicity, so why not?