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MAYBE THEY SHOULD BUILD IT IN BOSTON

One man's eyesore is another man's landmark.

For proof, consider what happened last week in Boston during a lecture and exhibit on "Landmark American Bridges of the 21st Century."

There was talk of the new Damen Avenue Bridge in Chicago, the Raccoon River Bridges in Des Moines and, of course, the Woodrow Wilson Memorial Bridge in Washington, D.C.

Oh yeah, there was one other potential "landmark" bridge highlighted by the Boston Society of Architects -- The new Peace Bridge.

No, not the signature bridge. Believe it or not, it was the twin span.

Like it or not, the Peace Bridge Authority's design, viewed by many as pedestrian at best, was on display as one of seven new bridges that could play a symbolic role in society.

What's interesting is that the display centered on two identical Black Rock Arches -- a concept that resurfaced last week -- not the authority's existing plan for keeping the Parker Truss.

The sound you hear is the signature-span folks snickering at the notion that either one is a landmark.

THE BILLS HAVE GONE TO THE DOGS

IT'S A CLICHE BUT IT'S OFTEN TRUE -- owners resemble their pets. Just take a gander at the new calender featuring your favorite Buffalo Bills.

On one page is Ted Washington with his two dogs, Thunder and Lightning. Needless to say, both pooches weigh in at well over 160 pounds.

There's also a cute picture of Wade Phillips and his pet dog, Coach.

Our favorite, though, is the photo below of Jerry Ostroski, the Bills' center, and his two bulldogs, Millie and Howard.

That's Jerry in the middle.

The calendar can be found at Wegmans throughout Erie County and the SPCA shelters in Tonawanda and Angola. Proceeds benefit the SPCA and the Bills' Youth Foundation.

A FAR CRY FROM FELIX AND OSCAR

Heavenly bodies seldom align, except on New York City's West Side.

Sharing the digs at luxurious Trump Plaza on 70th Street are Mpule Kwelagobe, a k a Miss Universe, and Franklinville's own Kimberly Ann Press-ler, the reigning Miss USA.

Sorry, the job of doorman is already filled.

News of the two crown-wearing roomies came courtesy of the New York Observer. The city weekly noted that Pressler does the cooking -- she swears by the George Foreman grill she picked up at Wal-Mart -- and Kwelagobe, who hails from Botswana, does the eating.

No word from the Observer on who does the dishes.

WILLARD, THE RED-NOSED RAT-DEER

Rats the size of Buicks?

OK, maybe City Hall exaggerated a bit when it came to Gelmac Quality Feeds in Buffalo's Old First Ward.

The business, which recycles old bakery products into animal food, has been hit with complaints about everything from stench to rats. It was a city lawyer who said the four-legged creatures were "the size of Buicks."

Frank DiJames, the city's Housing Court representative, recently got involved in the case and was asked about the rodents.

"I don't know if they're as big as Buicks," he said, "but they can pull a sleigh."

CHAIR-MAN FOR AN ANCHORWOMAN

The thought of Channel 4 anchorwoman Lisa Flynn wrestling with a huge chair and ottoman was too much for Tony Masiello to handle. Even if her husband, Tom Burton, is a lawyer for his favorite foil -- the police union.

Flynn, a rather petite woman, had just bought the two-piece set at Historical Investments on Hertel Avenue when Hizzoner came by to browse.

Masiello, always the chivalrous type, was helping her load the van when Burton happened to call the store. When he heard of Masiello's good deed, he thanked him for helping Flynn, who in addition to being his wife also lives in Clarence.

"I don't give a damn where you live, as long as you spend money in Buffalo," Masiello told him.

"I wondered aloud if Hillary or Giuliani would have done the same thing," Burton told Off Main.

Off Main Street is written by Phil Fairbanks with contributions from Donn Esmonde.