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KID BITS

SOMETHING TO READ
"Rewind," by William Sleator; Dutton, 120 pages, $15.99.

After Peter runs out in the road and gets killed by a car, he finds himself floating upward and hears a voice offering him one more chance at living.

One more chance to go back to Earth and try to prevent the events that led up to his fatal accident.

But Peter gets only so much time, so he has to "rewind" to the exact moment when his actions will make a difference in the outcome.

Will it be the art class where he decided to make the marionettes that enraged his practical-minded father? Or the moment when his parents shocked him with the news that he was adopted and they were now expecting their first biological child? Or will it be some other moment?

A master of suspense offers a real page-turner in this story of a boy whose love for art makes him feel estranged from his parents and classmates.

-- Jean Westmoore
SOMETHING TO DO
Shea's Performing Arts Center and Fleet Bank will present three matinee shows in its 1999-2000 Fleet Family Series, all at 2 p.m. Shows are "The Broadway Kids," a stage show featuring samplings from musicals ("Peter Pan" and "Les Miserables") on Oct. 23; "Lazer Vaudeville," combining laser illusions with juggling, acrobatics, zany comedy and a 7-foot fire-breathing dragon, on April 29; and "Tomas Kubinek," a magician, acrobat and clown nicknamed a "Certified Lunatic and Master of the Impossible," May 20. Tickets are on sale now at the Shea's ticket office and Ticketmaster locations at $14 for adults and $10 for kids. Call 852-5000.

KICK OFF YOUR DAY
... with the Women's World Cup Soccer champs. Quaker Oats is launching U.S. Soccer Golden Goals, a cereal shaped like mini soccer balls. The first box, out this month, has the champs on the front. Quaker is making a buck off soccer, but it's giving some back by donating money to youth soccer programs.

MINI HA-HAs
Teacher: So the dog ate your homework, huh?

Kid: Yes, teacher.

Teacher: And where's your dog now?

Kid: At the vet. He doesn't like math any more than I do.

Teacher: Where's your homework assignment today?

Kid: It blew away while I was walking to school.

Teacher: I see. And why were you late for school?

Kid: I had to wait for a heavy wind.

Teacher: So your homework blew off your desk, out an open window into the trash; the trash was picked up this morning, and you can't retrieve it because it's buried in a nuclear waste dump. Do you really expect me to believe that garbage?

Kid: No, but do you really expect me to do all that homework?

Teacher: On Monday, you said your dog ate your homework. On Tuesday, you said it blew away. On Wednesday, you said it ended up in the dump. So I asked you to bring your parents to school. Now where are they?

Kid: The dog ate them.

-- Compiled from jokes in "Super Funny School Jokes" by Gene Perret.

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