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How to win friends and influence me:

Color me skeptical of Christina Abt's report that she actually met a Republican who was going to the Clinton rally last week.

Color me amused by Jim (Entertainment Weekly) Mullen's comment that "Sean Penn is going to stop acting in movies. That didn't hurt Jean Claude Van Damme's career."

Color me startled by Mullen's comment that "Year-in-review shows are easy to produce. You just run that clip of Monica hugging Bill over and over."

Mullen also says that "Monday Night Football viewership is "down for the fourth year in a row. Because the Internet is an even better way for men to ignore their families."

Say a prayer for our guys Over There.

Rate your friend an American history expert, Judy Christ class, if she can name two historical characters who witnessed John Brown's hanging.

Color me intrigued by Conan O'Brien's belated take on the Time magazine anniversary party. His theory is that it's the only way the organizers could get Kathie Lee Gifford into the sane room with Dr. Jack Kevorkian.

Rate your friend a TV expert, Chris Nowak class, if she can name the sheriff in "The Big Valley."

Ms. Nowak reports that the Catholic Alumni Club will stage a Retreat for Singles at the Newman Center at ECC North Campus on Saturday at 1 p.m.

Color me pleased by report that the Friends of Bill Eaton are continuing the practice of giving bikes to the needy at Christmas.

Rate your friend a baseball expert, Herm Brunotte class, if he can name the first man drafted by the military in World War II. And it wasn't Hugh Mulcahy.

Color me impressed by the number of folks who demanded a Super Bowl backward joke for this week. Here it goes.

Dick Vermeil, the uptight coach then with the Philadelphia Eagles, saw his halfbacks rush into the toilet in New Orleans on his sudden arrival.

He ordered a drink and said to the mixologist, "See what the backs in the boys' room will have."

Hang tough.

Last week's trivia answers:

Detroit was the city surrendered by Gen. William Hull. Mike Selice of Lackawanna, Art Parks of Kenmore, Richard Wuertzer of Hamburg, William Thomas of Clarence, Thomas Malamas of Williamsville, Tony LaRusso of Angola and Wilbur Dunn of Newfane knew that.

Joan Thomas of Clarence, Marlene Simon and Lucille Stepanek of Kenmore, Dunn, LaRusso and Malamas recalled that Dean Stockwell played Gregory Peck's son in "Gentlemen's Agreement."

Vince Vara of Buffalo, Herm Brunotte of Tonawanda, Dunn, LaRusso, Malamas and Parks knew that Walter Johnson and Christy Matthewson got into Cooperstown on the first ballot.

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