Dear Ann Landers: I am a 15-year-old sophomore girl. I make decent grades and am a normal teen-ager in every way. At the beginning of the school year, I hit it off with a girl who had just moved to our town over the summer. "Lottie" and I have the same taste in music and movies, and we like to hang out at the mall after school. We've become great friends in just a few months, and last weekend, Lottie invited me to sleep over at her house.
Everything was great until it came time for bed. Lottie's bedroom has a double bed, which we were supposed to share. That would have been OK, except she stripped completely naked before she got into bed.
Ann, I have no objection to sleeping in the nude, but this was in the winter, and it was plenty cold outside. I asked Lottie if she wouldn't be warmer in pajamas. She replied that she was more comfortable sleeping nude and her electric blanket would keep her toasty warm. I reluctantly got into bed but kept wondering if Lottie was trying to seduce me. Her electric blanket was turned on so high that I was tempted to take off my flannel nightshirt. I decided not to, thinking maybe that was what she wanted me to do. Lottie made no other moves on me, but I barely slept all night.
What should I do? I don't want to accuse her of being a lesbian, but I can't stop wondering if she is interested in me sexually. Lottie is the best friend I ever had, and I would hate to lose her over this. Please tell me what to do.
-- Befuddled in Northern California
Dear Befuddled: Trust your instincts. Lottie may be perfectly straight, but I wouldn't bet the rent. If you want to continue the friendship, OK, but do not accept invitations to sleep at her place, and don't let her finagle an invitation to stay at yours.
Blood over marriage
Dear Ann Landers: My 32-year-old daughter is getting married for the second time. My daughter and I have a good relationship, but my ex-wife and I barely speak. She and my daughter made all the wedding preparations and paid for the whole thing without any assistance from me. I received a wedding invitation, but it excluded my fiancee, "Greta."
Greta and I have been together for the past six years. During this time, my daughter has visited us often and always seemed comfortable with the relationship. Greta is very hurt and angry that she was not invited. She asked me to speak to my daughter about the "oversight" and said that if no invitation was forthcoming, I should not go to the wedding, either.
I spoke to my daughter, who told me it was the expressed desire of her mother, my ex-wife, not to invite Greta. My daughter receives a lot of financial help from her mother and is obviously reluctant to go against her wishes.
What should I do? If I attend the wedding alone, Greta will think I let her down. If I don't go at all, my daughter will assume I favor my fiancee over her and will be crushed.
-- Dad in Bonita, Calif.
Dear Dad: Greta should have been invited to the wedding, since she has been your significant other for six years. She was not invited, however, which means she is not welcome. It would be classy of Greta to say, "Go -- have a good time, and bring me a piece of wedding cake." If she does not choose to be gracious, go anyway. This is your daughter's day, and her wish to have you there takes precedence.