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BYE THE WAY

Top 10 ways the Buffalo Bills plan to spend their bye weekend:

10. Players hold a meeting to demand that Wade Phillips cut back on "marathon" 45-minute practices.

9. Bruce Smith refuses to attend team workouts after learning that Doug Flutie has a breakfast cereal named after him, Flutie Flakes. Smith says team has a commercial pecking order "and the line forms behind me."

8. Front office schedules private workouts for Ricky Williams of Texas and Tim Couch of Kentucky as candidates for No. 2 overall pick in 1999 draft.

7. Players called on stage at Garth Brooks concert to join in finale. Ruben Brown refuses to sing.

6. Offensive coordinator Joe Pendry, bowing to NFL tradition, ends experiment with "subliminal" play-calling.

5. McDonald's announces endorsement deal with Jamie Nails. Value Meal Nos. 8-11 are to be known as "the Nails Slam."

4. Rob Johnson calls news conference to state that he is fully recovered from his latest concussion. "Hey," he calls to reporters, "Is there a verdict yet in the O.J. trial?"

3. Players hold another meeting to protest team's 4 a.m. curfew as unfair to those who suffer from sleep apnea.

2. Marketing department rolls out new slogan: We're 0-3, with $3 million in luxury boxes left to sell, and Ralph Wilson is 79 -- you do the math.
1. Two words: creatine coladas!

-- GREG CONNORS

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