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GIVING THE BILLS THE BUSINESS

How to win friends and influence me:

Tell me how you would explain your decision not to vote on Tuesday to a person from an Iron Curtain country.

Color me skeptical of Sue (birthday girl) Fay's report that when Dan Hennings of the Bills bumped into a lady in a supermarket, he said, "No offense."

Her reply was: "I know. I saw the Broncos game."

Color me confident that we will be hearing soon about the mother-in-law who's "so homely that when she answers the door on Halloween, the kids give her trick-or-treat candy."

Say a prayer for our guys Over There.

Rate your friend an American history expert if he can tell you President Eisenhower's Secret Service code name.

Color me convinced that Jim (Entertainment Weekly) Mullen had his tongue in cheek when he said: "Kevin Costner had Mikhail Gorbachev over to his house for dinner. They shared thoughts on once being in charge of huge bombs."

Rate your friend a movie expert, Adele Parrino class, if she can name the first movie to become a play.

Mrs. Parrino reports that the annual banquet and fashion show of the WIICH (Women Interested in Cystic Health) will be staged at Salvatore's Italian Gardens on Nov. 7 and that Russ Salvatore has a surprise for the ladies.

Consider this thought from Bill ("Politically Incorrect") Maher: "The Supreme Court is choosing not to become involved in the right-to-die case except in the case of the new Jenny McCarthy sitcom."

Rate your friend a football expert, Ed Sieracki class, if he can name the man who was simultaneously head coach of a college team and a pro team.

Sieracki, commander of the Casimir Pulaski VFW Post, will receive the Dennis T. Gorski Veterans Advocate Award at the Rath Building on Nov. 6.

Consider this backward joke submission from Connie McGillicuddy.

New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was asked to levy a tax on the city's National League franchise for not doing better in the 1997 pennant race.

He refused, saying, "I never taxed a Met I didn't like."

Hang tough.

Last week's trivia answers:

Wilbur Dunn of Newfane and John Stachowicz of Buffalo knew that Harry Truman was the first president to have a Secret Service code name.

Al Landreville of Lockport and Dunn recalled that five actresses who played "Annie" on Broadway were Shirley Bruce, Alyson Kirk, Sarah Jessica Parker, Andrea McArdle and Alison Smith.

Robert Perry of Buffalo, Art Parks of Kenmore, Tony LaRusso of Angola, Dunn, Landreville and Stachowicz knew that Wild Again won the first Breeders Cup Classic.

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