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How to win friends and influence me:

Color me fascinated by Maureen (New York Times) Dowd's remark that the motto of the Clinton administration seems to be, "The Buck Stops There."

Ms. Dowd also said the Promise Keepers convention was "only another excuse to get out of the house -- the evangelical equivalent of golf."

Color me skeptical of Rich Ryan's report that after Sunday's spectacle, he heard a local group is trying to get all road games blacked out.

Color me intrigued by Mark Russell's comment that what tabloid editors would love is a connection between Princess Di and Marv Albert.

Hey, Mark, would Time or Newsweek pass up such a link?

Say a prayer for our guys Over There.

Rate your friend an American history expert, Patrick Fagan class, if he can give you the Secret Service code name for Betty Ford.

Fagan, president of Shea's Performing Arts Center, was recently elected treasurer of the League of Historic American Theaters, in Cleveland.

Color me startled by the diner at the Columbus Day dinner who said: "Columbus had to be a bachelor. If he was married, his wife would have spoiled his deal with Queen Isabella when she heard the queen was giving him ships and cargo."

Rate your friend a movie expert, Helen Newman class, if if she can name an actress who was in both versions of "Letter to Three Wives."

Mrs. Newman reports that the College Club of Buffalo is open for tours these days.

Color me confident some locals didn't appreciate Playboy magazine's poser that went: "What's the difference between a congressman and happiness? Answer: You can't buy happiness."

Rate your friend a football expert, Betty Long class, if he can tell you who holds the record for kicking field goals.

Consider this backward joke submission from Walter F. Buehler.

A famed rock group owned a British car which they would drive down country lanes at high speed. To protect themselves from the spraying dirt, the workers posted a guard who would alert them with a cry.

It was, "Watch out for the Stoning Rolls."

Hang tough.

Last week's trivia answers:

Ed Knoerl of Snyder knew that Albert Schoepper was the first Marine band leader to become a full colonel.

Jimmy Nicol filled in for Ringo Starr when the Beatle was exhausted. Nobody knew that.

Bill Gerspach of Grand Island and Tony LaRusso of Angola recalled that Cal Hubbard is in the baseball and football halls of fame.

Trivia experts gathering: There will be a reception for all who have ever sent in trivia answers at the Italian Village on Wehrle Drive, Sunday from 3 to 5 p.m. Spouses are welcome, and admission is free.

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