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Color me alarmed by the joke potential in the report that Washington, D.C., seems like a strange place for an outfit like Promise Keepers.

Color me dismayed by Jay Leno's report that "Party of Five" is not a TV show, but a Marv Albert production.

The National Enquirer's editor said he didn't run Marv Albert stories because his female readership wouldn't know who Albert was.

Color me sorry I couldn't hear about Carol Burnett's appearance at UB's Center for the Arts on Thursday without recalling the time she deadpanned: "The guest of honor needs no introduction. He didn't show up."

Say a prayer for our guys Over There.

Rate your friend an American history expert, Christie Rothschild class, if she can name the first United States Marine Band director to become a full colonel.

Mrs. Rothschild reports that the Dinner and Fashion Show to benefit the Amherst Domestic Violence Task Force will be staged at Salvatore's Italian Gardens on Oct. 16.

Color me skeptical of Becky Goodwin's report that when a pro coach was congratulated on his daughter's "trouble-free" wedding, he mumbled, "No comment till I see the films."

Rate your friend a music expert, Susan Clements class, if she can tell you who filled in for Ringo Starr when he was sidelined with exhaustion.

Ms. Clements advises that the YWCA of Western New York will put on its third annual "Week Without Violence" from Oct. 19 to 25.

Color me amused by the Cleveland booster who said: "We talk about improvement in our town. But why don't the media stress that we also got rid of Art Modell and Don King?"

Rate your friend a sports expert, Pat Casilio class, if if he can name the first athlete to be in the Hall of Fame in two sports.

Consider this backward joke submission from Ken Rummenie.

Suzie's mother had entered her, against her will, in the Itty Bitty Miss Buffalo pageant and was sewing many tacky ornamentations onto her costume.

Suzie squirmed until her mother lost patience and said, "Don't fight the hand that beads you!"

Hang tough.

Last week's trivia answers:

The Secret Service name for Nancy Reagan was "Rainbow." Pat Harrington of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Connie Oelkers of Buffalo, Al Landreville of Lockport, Wilbur Dunn of Newfane and Tony LaRusso of Angola knew that.

Archie Bunker's address was 704 Houser St. in Queens. Douglas and Michael Francis McPeek, Ange LaMartina and Jeff Mortarano of Buffalo, Wanda Butters and Dan Bushley of Cheektowaga, Murray Weingarten of Amherst, Jeff Jozwiak of Depew, Joan Thomas of Clarence, Art Parks and Marlene Simpson of Kenmore, Thomas Malamas of Williamsville, Dunn and LaRusso knew that.

Bill Gerspach of Grand Island, Dunn, Landreville, LaRusso, Malamas, Stachowicz and Weingarten recalled that Yogi Berra hit the first pinch home run in a World Series.

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