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"Stand there until they get sick of taking your picture."

Howard Stern's strategy for dealing with the paparazzi.

Purple pain
Kiss 98.5 deejay Doc Reno emcees Saturdays at Studio 652 in South Buffalo, and he never knows who will turn up. Two weeks ago, it was Robbie Goo of the Goo Goo Dolls -- who couldn't have been nicer, buying drinks and visiting the DJ booth. (Oddly enough, Reno used to be in a band, Live Wire, while Goo was in radio.) Well, Goo was one thing. Prince was another. He turned up after his recent show downtown, and people wanted to ... well, crown him. Wearing a suit as yellow as a rose ("I wouldn't be caught dead in it," Reno shuddered), the Artist slunk in, sat down and clung to his band, refusing to greet anyone -- "except for floozies," Reno said. He never made a move toward the bandstand, though his people, charging $15 at the door, had hinted he would. "When he was leaving, he waved at me, like, 'See ya,' " Reno fumed. "I'm like, 'Dude, you are weird.' "

One fell swipe
What it looks like to us is, someone got hold of some ink and an old-fashioned nib pen, and got busy. A swipe here, a swipe there, and voila! Logos! We've noticed before how Studio Arena's logo (two swipes topped with a circle) resembled Colden Tubing's logo, which resembled Darien Lake's logo ... which looks like ... oh, no! Yikes! It looks as if they've got the airport! The logo for the new Buffalo Niagara International Airport has one upward swipe, as if to suggest the building's slope. Sorry, but we don't think it flies. We long for the old era of complicated seals, crammed with lions, Latin mottos and sheaves of wheat. Everything is so confusing these days.

Goodbye, Elton John
Or move over, at least. Through all the hoopla surrounding John's "Candle in the Wind" Princess Di tribute, Tom Calandra -- the Buffalo guy who's a regular guest on a big Boston radio show -- has been busy. He has come out with a song called "Farewell Mother Teresa." (Buzz tried to beat him to it. But after our first line, "Goodbye, India's rose," we got stuck.) Calandra's opus, for which he wrote lyrics and, may we add, new music, goes, "Farewell Mother Teresa/You were such a lovely lady/We will miss you always/She would spend her days doin' everything for the poor ..." Like Calandra's other songs for the Boston station, this song is being beamed over 275 radio stations nationwide. Sounds like a possible single to us.

No contest
Poor Artvoice. When tacky quizmaster Bud Murray held a media quiz-off Sunday at Founding Fathers Pub, inviting teams from TV and print, the weekly sent the big guns: movie mogul M. Faust (his name tag said "M," which we thought was cool); art guru Liz Licata; jazz czar Bob Boardman, and Jamie Moses, Kamasutra of the Muses. They hoped to battle the best brains in Buffalo -- but instead, bummer of bummers, they faced only Buzz and three ex-paperboys, representing The News. Buzz and the paperboys went down in flames, failing to name the African nation where field hockey was invented. It was Egypt, we said Kenya, and now we have to salaam every time we pass Artvoice Web and Copy. "Well," chirped an Artvoicer, "you can stop in and buy Internet time, to get in shape for our next contest." What next contest? Don't look at us.

The buzz
Channel 2's exploitation of Victoria Hong's pregnancy continues. The beleaguered newscaster was heard saying, "Next: What sort of things do you need for a newborn?" Give it a rest, people! ... Saturday at the Central Park Grill, it's the Pine Dogs, now with Greg Klyma.

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