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IF ANDREW CUNANAN HAD BEEN A KENNEDY

How to win friends and influence me:

Color me curious about the identity of the actor who will play Andrew Cunanan in the TV movie of the week.

Color me sure that Bay State Democrats didn't laugh early last week when Jay Leno said: "Andrew Cunanan is rumored to be in New England. Now all he has to do is become a Kennedy and he can get away with anything."

Color me intrigued by Craig ("Morning Show") Kilborn's comment: "Next month in Martha Stewart Living, she'll show us how to create garden mulch from unauthorized biographies."

Lucky Stewart. The jokes about her were kept down by the ink devoted to Cunanan.

Say a prayer for our guys Over There.

Rate your friend an American history expert, Joe Hoover class, if he can name the president who tabbed AIDS as "Public Enemy No. 1."

Hoover advises that the Combat Veterans Association will present Jim Breuil, first owner of the old Buffalo Bills, with a special medal Friday at noon at the Buffalo and Erie County Naval and Military Park.

Look for a revival of the number that says, "The Bills are going to move to the Philippines, where they'll be known as the Manila Folders."

Saturday night's game again shows why veteran writers call those travesties "exhibition games."

Rate your friend a movie expert, Martha Kupkowski class, if she can name Gregory Peck's first speaking role.

Mrs. Kupkowski reports that the ninth annual "Pennies From Heaven" will be staged at Our Lady of Victory Basilica on Sunday.

Color me confident Tony Randall didn't like it when a pal said: "The kid looks just like you. All wrinkled."

Rate your friend a baseball expert, Tim (Merrill Lynch) Kane class, if he can name the star who got the most first-round votes for the Hall of Fame.

Consider this backward joke entry from Ken Rummenie.

A new film follows Engleberg of that hapless baseball team into adulthood, when he becomes a news junkie. He takes reports of every tragedy personally and alleviates his anxiety with junk food.

The film's title is "Bears News Bad."

Hang tough.

Last week's trivia answers:

Helen Richey was the first woman to fly airmail transport. Dan Bushley of Cheektowaga, Art Parks of Kenmore, Al Landreville of Lockport, Wilbur Dunn of Newfane and Tony LaRusso of Angola knew that.

Jimmy Stewart's last film was "An American Tail: Fievel Goes West." Thomas Malamas of Williamsville, Ange LaMartina of Buffalo, Bushley, Dunn, Landreville and LaRusso had the answer.

Bill Smith of Buffalo, Landreville and Malamas recalled that Herman Franks of the Eagles scored on the Fumble.

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