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OLAF FUB SEZ: It was English actor Roland Young (1887-1953) who mused: "I'm a self-made man, but I think if I had it to do over again, I'd call in someone else." . . .

ON THIS DAY -- In 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th president of the United States, died in Mount McGregor, N.Y., at the age of 63 . . . In 1886, New York saloon-keeper Steve Brodie claimed to have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into the East River . . . In 1904, by some accounts, the ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis . . . In 1967, rioting erupted in Detroit, claiming 43 lives. . . .

Today I feel elated;

In fact, I'm really in clover

When I finally checked my laundry,

No odd sock was left over.

-- Dan Kublitz
SEARCH HELP -- Government and non-profit agencies needing federal information can receive help this fall from University at Buffalo graduate students enrolled in the "Government Information" course. They will compile federal information packages for clients that will identify federal web sites, publications, computer databases and audiovisuals related to any broad topic.

Clients of the service must be available to consult with their student researcher during the fall semester and return a written evaluation after submission of the search in late November. The number of searches will be limited by class size. Search requests must be received before Aug. 25.

To submit a request, send a description of the search topic, with the client's name, agency name, address and telephone number to Judith Robinson, associate professor of information and library studies, at 534 Baldy Hall, University at Buffalo, Buffalo, N.Y. 14260. Clients also may e-mail her at period) . . .

SHORT STORY -- Mary Roberts, one of Olaf's funeral director friends, tells the story about the woman who had four husbands. The first was a millionaire. The second was an actor. The third was a minister and the fourth a funeral director. So, what does it all mean?

If you haven't figured it out by now, it relates to the old saying, "One for the money (the millionaire), two for the show (the actor), three to get ready (the minister) and four to go (the funeral director). . . .

TRUE STORY -- Recent doings at the Sabres reminds Olaf of the time this guy walked into an Elmwood Avenue bar with his dog and promised the innkeeper that the animal would discuss the Sabres in exchange for free drinks.

The skeptical bartender set them up and then asked the dog to name the best Sabre of all time. The dog thought a minute and then replied, "Ruff, Ruff."

The bartender quickly tossed them both out into the street. As they sat there in the gutter the dog turned to the man and said, "I guess I should have said Perreault. . . .

CHARACTER BUILDING -- Niagara University is one of 135 colleges and universities in the nation named to the 1997-98 Templeton Honor Roll for Character-Building Colleges.

The honor roll is sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation of Radnor, Pa. It recognizes institutions that promote the development of students' character. . . .

2,000 MEALS -- The Travelers Foundation this week announced a $7,500 grant to Meals on Wheels of Buffalo and Erie County. The gift will provide nearly 2,000 meals to the elderly and disabled. The organization serves 800,000 meals annually with the help of 1,700 Meals on Wheels volunteers. The Travelers Foundation is the philanthropic arm of Smith Barney's parent company, Travelers Group. . . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY -- James Stanley, the Rev. Paul Sabo, Shirley Stott, Nicole Szuniewicz, Mary Ann Whelan, Donna Lopez, Anita McCabe, Mary Sikorski, Denise Smith, John Travers, Brian Smith, Alice Heimbueger, Eric Smedley, Kathy Miller, Bob Baker, Fred Conley, Peter DeMarco Sr., Dr. Peter DeMarco Jr., Henrietta Schmitt, Mary Ellen Slisz, Kevin McSparron, William J. Bekasinski, Sharon Carter, Rod Cornwell, Jack Tienery Gavin, Noah Tryninewski, Dorothy Kramer, Christopher Panepinto, Gerry Schuler, Mickey Tartick, Walter Neubauer, Tony Capparra, Irene Lacross, Amu Goc, Chris Grochocki, Michele Evans and Lawrence Close Jr.

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