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Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I were divorced before our first anniversary and remarried two years later. Which anniversary should we celebrate?

I realize that you have informed couples that the first anniversary is the official one, but since we did not make it to the first one, which would apply?

Gentle Reader: Miss Manners is afraid that you have mistaken her for someone who has nothing better to do.

It would be a mighty slow day in the etiquette business -- and the world would have to be dismally bereft of amusements -- before Miss Manners could work up an interest in whether people should commemorate their first wedding to each other or their fourth.

Nor does the Etiquette Council make official pronouncements on such things. Wedding anniversaries are just convenient times for people who are more or less happily married to look back, often with their children and anybody else who is glad they married and pleased to celebrate. If you choose to remember one of these occasions rather than the other, you can do so without the fear that Miss Manners will have an official fit.

Feeling incorrect? Address your etiquette questions to Miss Manners, in care of The Buffalo News, P.O. Box 100, Buffalo, N.Y. 14240. The quill shortage prevents Miss Manners from answering questions except through this column.

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