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CARBON-DATING

In an age when everything new is outdated by next weekend, old words and phrases never seem to die.

Get out your blue pencil, because here are some candidates for the linguistic retirement home:

The year 2000. It's less than five years away. Can't we just call it 2000?

Dial the phone. The last time you saw a phone with a dial, it was on "The Andy Griffith Show."

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. How '50s.

The United Negro College Fund. Ditto!

Horsepower. Isn't it odd that we still talk about cars the way Henry Ford did in persuading the rubes to buy one?

Candlepower. How bright is that, again?

Talking a mile a minute. Now that the speed limit is going up to 65, a mile a minute seems awfully slow.

Siamese twins. It's Thailand now, isn't it?

Blueprint. No such thing anymore, practically, since they invented the Xerox machine.

The boob tube. Televisions now have microchips, not picture tubes. The "boob" part, though, still applies.

-- Scott Thomas

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