In what's become a yearly routine, Gusto delves deep into the bowels of local social media to unearth the best April Fools' Day jokes in Buffalo.
2017 brings an added challenge, however, with April Fools' Day falling on a Saturday, a day when fewer Buffalonians are at their office desks with time to kill.
But thanks to help from Kiss 98.5's Shy Guy Shawn - who usually has a few tricks up his sleeve - as well as a few other sharp eyes on social media, here are the best of the lot through 3 p.m.
If you spot any others that made you laugh or almost fooled you, please note them in the comments.
1) Jim's Steakout's peanut butter and jelly sub
Why it makes the list: The notion of plowing through a 12-inch peanut butter and jelly sub must be unnerving for some - think of the roof of your mouth! Either size sub would take unbelievable dexterity to eat cleanly; a bib would be necessary.
My favorite part? The line "we've run out of resources for the Turkey Club Sub." It conjures up thoughts of natural gas and coal as key ingredients.
2) Buffalo Outer Harbor's whale sighting
Why it makes the list: Judging by the comments on the Outer Harbor Facebook page, this April Fools' joke was the most effective in fooling its viewers.
Why couldn't a whale show off its agility under the Peace Bridge? Well, probably because no species of whales can live in freshwater environments. Whale migrations do actually happen, however, so consider this your marine mammal lesson of the day (MMLOD).
3) Chiavetta's marinade bath bomb
Why it makes the list: The scent of a Chiavetta's chicken barbecue is unmistakable across Western New York, causing mouths to salivate and stomachs to perk up summer after summer.
Why not (literally) bathe in the powerful salt-vinegar-garlic combo, especially when the bubble bath option is so affordable? Bonus points for the truly awful "Scent-sual" pun.
4) Lloyd Taco's burrito-lugging drone
— lloyd Taco Trucks (@whereslloyd) April 1, 2017
Why it makes the list: Lloyd Taco's Pat Fisher gets extra marks for his almost frightening commitment to detail, from the heat-sealing material blanketing the burrito to the drone's service radius. We hope that Churn, Lloyd's future ice cream endeavor, doesn't try drone delivery.
Watch the video below to see a drone hover above the Taco Factory on Hertel Avenue, waiting for the right moment to unload its burrito.
5) Bootleg Bucha and Lloyd's Rocket Sauce kombucha
— Bootleg Bucha (@Bootlegbucha) April 1, 2017
Why it makes the list: While it might be cheating to include Lloyd on the list twice, the idea of Rocket Sauce kombucha is revolting enough to get its own April Fools' Day slot.
6) Preet Bharara's end of NYS corruption
— Preet Bharara (@PreetBharara) April 1, 2017
Why it makes the list: The recently fired U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York took advantage of April Fools' Day to take a jab at a few of his favorite targets - New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo, public corruption and Wall Street crime - while inserting a sarcastic punchline aimed at President Donald Trump's popular hashtag, #DrainTheSwamp.
Among the pranks on this list, Bharara's has the broadest scope and most vitriol.
7) Jam in the Valley's birds-eye seating
Why it makes the list: Part of experiencing Jam in the Valley is reveling in live country music with thousands of other sweaty, scantily-clad (and likely muddy) concertgoers.
But if you love country yet loathe close quarters, JitV presents wind turbine seating, which likely requires a harrowing climb - but free Busch Light at the top, we hope.
8) A bizarre discovery in a pond behind a Houghton College dormitory
— Houghton College (@HoughtonCollege) April 1, 2017
Why it makes the list: Kudos to Houghton, creator of 2015's BioDome prank, for another extended narrative this year, even planning a faux-symposium to build off the discovery of a legendary ship - the Amethyst Dragon, once captained by noted scallywag Westley, a rogue relative of John and Charles Wesley, the founders of the Wesleyan tradition.
While an introduction to scurvy is a close second, "Eye Patch Psychology: Where You Came From and Why It Matters" would be my symposium topic of choice.
9) Whitworth Ferguson Planetarium's dramatic change in curriculum
Due to new federal policies about science, we will now be teaching about the Earth-centered Universe and Flat Earthhttps://t.co/7jcTnCWtVI
— Ferguson Planetarium (@WFPlanetarium) April 1, 2017
Why it makes the list: Who knows what to believe anymore? The SUNY Buffalo State planetarium jokes about an Earth-centered universe, and we're told that the Cleveland Cavaliers' Kyrie Irving immediately registered for classes.
Why it makes the list: 42North has been credited with helping spur Buffalo's surge of startup companies, so the business' April Fools' joke, replete with a comment from an "April Phule," announces an affiliate - 43South - based in Chile.
The best part is a quote: “We really like Patagonia apparel,” Gavigan said, “so developing a business competition in Chile was a no brainer.”
11) Yahoo Sports announces that Tom Brady has been traded to the Buffalo Bills
Why it makes the list: This one was weak, low-hanging fruit. We heard the Leafs traded for Jack Eichel, too.