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Dear Abby: Working mom feels tug of guilt for leaving young son at home

Dear Abby: I have been working for four years. I need to work to help my husband financially. However, over the last few months, I’ve felt torn about not being a stay-at-home mom.

My grandmother has been taking care of my son full time while I work, but her health isn’t the greatest now. I don’t trust any of the day care in my area and can’t afford one anyway.

I really want to be a stay-at-home mom, but still feel obligated to help bring in money. How do I get over my guilt for not wanting to work outside the home full time?

– Stuck in Delaware

Dear Stuck: You are not the only mother who feels this kind of ambivalence.

Perhaps it would help if you focus harder on thinking about this rationally rather than emotionally. When your grandmother’s health no longer allows her to care for your son, you may have to cut back on your schedule – or your husband may need to take a second job.

Vacation fears

Dear Abby: My son is more than likely going to win a trip to the Dominican Republic through his employer. He’s planning to take his wife with him. Their two children will stay with me or their other grandma.

With the way the world is now, I wouldn’t go on a vacation with my husband, fly to another country and leave my children behind. I would let him go alone so that in case something happens, my kids would have at least one parent left.

I understand that we should not give in to fear and give up what we like to do, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take logical precautions. What is your opinion on this?

– Living in the Real World

Dear Living: My opinion is that you should stay out of it, and let your son and daughter-in-law enjoy that hard-earned vacation. If they were visiting a country where the threat level was high, I might think differently. However, to repeat what you said in your letter, “we should not give in to fear and give up what we like to do” because we are afraid of what “might” happen.

Communion wine issue

Dear Abby: I love attending religious services on Sundays and the Communion during them. I quit drinking alcohol almost 18 months ago. Our church serves wine (not grape juice) during Communion, and I have been told not to drink ANYTHING alcoholic. How do I cope with this situation?

– Sober and Proud of It

Dear Sober: This is something to discuss with your clergyperson. If you have been warned that tasting the Communion wine could sabotage your sobriety, perhaps you should consider partaking only of the bread.