Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. He recently mentioned that when he was younger (19), he had a threesome (two guys, one girl).
We are both over 35, so I realize this happened many years ago, but the fact that it was two guys is hard for me. I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I keep seeing the images.
I try to tell myself my boyfriend is a different man today than the teen he was. I don’t understand why it’s bothering me so much. How can I find a way to get past this? Please give me some direction.
– Can’t Get It Out Of My Head
Dear Can’t: I respect your boyfriend’s honesty and openness. Because you can’t get this out of your head, talk further with him about his youthful escapade. If your concern is that your boyfriend is interested in having sex with other men, ask him that question. It occurs to me that when two horny teenage boys found one willing girl, they may not have been as interested in having sex with each other as they were with her.
Tattoo policy proves unclear
Dear Abby: I am a tattooed female in my late 20s. When I started a job as a cook in an assisted-living facility a year ago, I was required to go through an orientation and the dress code was explained. When I asked about visible tattoos, the lady who ran the orientation was unsure if they were allowed to show and told me to ask my manager. My manager said she didn’t know, but suggested I cover them anyway “just to be safe.”
Since then, I have worn long-sleeved polo shirts with the sleeves rolled up. No one has commented about the sleeves. Since I went through that orientation, two girls have been hired who have ink on their arms. They wear short sleeves every day.
I’m wondering if I should just show up in short sleeves and risk someone saying something, email corporate and ask what the policy is, or ask our new executive director? Any thoughts?
– To Cover Or Not To Cover
Dear T.C.O.N.T.C.: While displaying your tats may not be a problem considering that two other employees are showing theirs, your new executive director should be able to give you a definite answer to your question. And while you’re at it, suggest that because there are now three employees with tattoos, the policy should be clearly stated in the employee handbook, which may be due for an update.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.