Dear Abby: On July 26, 2011, you posted an answer to “Jittery Future Bride in Boston.” I am that woman. I had asked you how to get my boyfriend of five years to use my deceased grandmother’s ring as an engagement ring.
I followed your advice and told my boyfriend-at-the-time that I wanted to use a family ring. I spoke with my father about it and checked with my sister to see if she would mind if I used it.
We got engaged seven months ago, and my now-husband told me he had been hoping to take the stone from my paternal grandmother’s ring, a stone from my maternal grandmother’s ring and one from his family to make a new “joining of the families” ring. We haven’t made it yet, but we all look forward to the special meaning that it will embody. We even plan to make a new setting out of the old setting. It’s a fairy-tale ending.
– Blushing Bride in Boston
Dear Blushing Bride: Actually, it’s more like a fairy-tale beginning. I love the idea. Thank you for letting me know how things turned out. Not many of my readers take the time to do that. I wish you and your husband a lifetime of happiness together.
Try to focus on positive
Dear Abby: The mother of a friend of mine died recently. I offered my condolences, and since then I haven’t been the same.
I am nine months pregnant, and even though I should be excited and celebrating the anticipated arrival of our baby, all I can think about is that my mother is going to die one day. She’s 52, healthy and happy, but I can’t get it out of my mind. I have become a different person, crying at the most trivial things and often panicking that Mom’s OK. I don’t think I could make it through if anything happened to her.
Dwelling on this is affecting my relationship with my husband and my friends. How do I stop obsessing over this?
– Anxious in Albuquerque
Dear Anxious: A discussion with your OB/GYN would be helpful. By the last months of pregnancy, a woman’s body is swimming in hormones. Those increased hormone levels have been known to have a profound effect on a woman’s emotions.
The solution to your problem may be as simple as understanding that once your baby arrives and your hormones return to normal, you will be back on a more even keel. If that doesn’t happen, you may have to talk with a mental health professional – although I doubt that will be necessary. In the meantime, your mother is healthy, happy and about to be a grandmother, so dwell on the positive.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.