Dear Abby: I am ready to explode. My father-in-law dotes on my 16-year-old daughter, who is his only grandchild. The biggest issue, is that he takes her to and from school every day and then expects to stay and visit. I have neither the time nor the inclination to sit and chitchat with him.
My husband doesn’t want to be involved. I want to politely make “Dad” understand that he doesn’t need to come in every single day. I know he will think we are being negative or against him personally. Please help.
– Too Much Of A “Good” Thing In Pennsylvania
Dear Too Much: Obviously, your father-in-law doesn’t have enough going on in his life to fill his time. Things won’t change until you manage to set some boundaries.
It would not be “negative against him” if you had to go out and run errands. It would also not be negative, to ask him to pitch in and help with the chores. You might also suggest that he do some volunteer work to fill his time. But you will have to schedule a time for him to feel welcome when your husband is home and can help to entertain his father.
Say no to ‘Sam’
Dear Abby: We are the parents of two adult children. We have always lived below our means so we could save for college expenses and retirement. Now that our two sons have finished college (with no debt), we purchased two luxury vehicles.
Our oldest son, “Sam,” lives in another state but comes into town for business and pleasure, and when he does, he wants to borrow one of our cars. Although Sam has a good driving record, we are hesitant to loan him one of them. Sam is upset with us. Are we being unreasonable by not letting him borrow one of our cars?
– Conflicted In Dallas
Dear Conflicted: You have been generous with your children. It appears that Sam is less interested in what you have done for him than what you WILL do. He’s acting like a spoiled brat, and I hope you will stick to your guns.