1. WILL BAT FOR FOOD
St. Louis is the country's No. 1 city for cheapskates, in the estimation of Kiplinger magazine. "No kidding," said one Albert Pujols apologist. "Can you believe they only offered him $23 million a year to play there?"
2. UPON FURTHER REVIEW
With negotiations going nowhere, the NFL has locked out its game officials. So which is now the most fearsome sight in football: a 4-3 defense with Ray Lewis in the middle, or a picket line headed up by Ed Hochuli?
3. WITHDRAWAL PAINS
Running back Herschel Sims has been kicked off the Oklahoma State football team for allegedly taking $700 from a teammate's bank account. Probably not what his coaches had in mind when they described him as a money player.
4. GLAZED OVER
Last Friday, in case you missed it, was National Doughnut Day. St. Louis Cardinals hitters, a little too caught up in the moment, celebrated by going 0 for 27.
5. WHAT HE SAID
"If you are a person who whines, 'C'mon, refs, let the players decide the game,' next time you are the victim of a crime, don't call the cops," wrote Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. "Work it out with the criminal."
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times