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The Grammar Guru

Saturday, June 12, a severe hail storm kept everyone inside. It wasn't until Tuesday, June 15, in fact, that the skies cleared and people could get out.

Main Street, the prime thoroughfare, was full of people and traffic, and things were fine until a stranger presented himself at Lenny's Hardware Store.

"Good morning," said the stranger to Lenny. "I need a hammer, a screw driver, a large burlap bag, a pair of heavy work gloves and a mask."

"Coming up," said Lenny, and he gathered the goods together. Meanwhile, the stranger was selecting a flashlight.

"You figuring to rob somebody?" Lenny said, genially, as he totaled the bill. What happened next startled him: The stranger gulped, stammered and tore out of the store.

"Hey!" cried Lenny. "You coming back? We're open on Sundays and holidays! Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's!"

Soon enough, spring passed. Then summer came, followed by autumn and winter, but still no sign of the stranger. Lenny finally gave up and put the man's goods away. The next day, a Wednesday, who should walk into the store but the stranger!

"Sorry," he said. "I had a few things to take care of. Do you have my things?"

Lenny blew up, but the stranger just laughed. Then he motioned to some people outside, and a TV crew came in. Turns out the whole thing was a set-up for a show called "Gotcha!" Even so, Lenny refused to be amused.

Remember: Capitalize the names of days, months and holidays, but not seasons.

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>Quiz

Capitals anywhere?

1) On mondays, in the winter, Adam likes to play soccer.

2) Even though the first day of Spring is in march, everybody thinks that spring consists of April, may and June.

3) "Every Day we're apart," said Romeo to Juliet, "especially on Weekends, I feel badly. If we had a holiday called giving thanks, say, and we were apart, I'd be devastated."

*

Answers

1) Mondays. (If Adam's habits matter to you, so be it.)

2) spring, March, May. (Well, maybe 90 out of 100 think that.)

3) day, weekends, Giving Thanks. (Juliet snarled, "You mean you feel bad. 'Feel badly' means you have a poor sense of touch!" Juliet could be a real pain, so the marriage probably wouldn't have lasted anyway.)