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Burden of a clue empowers with the truth

Have you ever had days when you wished you had no idea what was going on?

I'm not referring to being unintelligent or lacking common sense or, simply put, just being an airhead. I'm talking about thinking or feeling one way about something or someone, and then finding out it wasn't what you thought it was.

Examples: You find out your well-mannered teenager who never causes trouble or gives you a hard time is using drugs, or that a friend, family member or co-worker you thought was a person you could trust turns out to be quite the opposite -- and then, because they couldn't keep their mouth shut, ignites a wild fire that you now find yourself smack in the middle of.

Or, there are unexpected changes in behavior, and people do things you never would have expected in your wildest dreams.

It could be interpreted as deception, but I'm more inclined to lean on this one -- that someone decided to abuse a trust or take advantage of a friend.

Having "the burden of a clue" puts a whole different perspective on how you may think or feel once the truth has been revealed. And what usually follows that is you have a pretty good idea that some kind of change is on its way.

For myself, a lot of different emotions or notions can overwhelm me. At times I feel as though I am in a tailspin, wishing I could remove my head and put it in a box in the closet until I'm ready to deal with the problem. But since that is not an option, I can:

Find ways to resolve what's whirling around in my head;

Pretend they don't really exist,

Or move to Montana.

I think I'll go with the first one. Nothing wrong with the world of make-believe or Montana, but, as the saying goes, "Wherever you go there you are."

So with maybe a little resignation I will chose to grow where my feet are planted. Being given the burden of a clue isn't always pleasant, but, then again, sometimes it can actually turn out to be a blessing.

I can't think of anything else on Earth that does it for me more than knowing the truth. Getting a solid perspective on whatever the "clue" is is huge. I usually take a step back, look the whole thing over and ask myself, "Did I have anything to do with this? Is this really any of my business?"

Sometimes we find out about stuff that has nothing to do with us but we still choose to react. How has finding out the truth affected me and why? If it involves a personal relationship with someone, that's a given. But sometimes -- even under those circumstances -- it may have nothing to do with us -- or it is none of our business.

That is what I consider the hard truth of the matter -- tough to swallow but better to stand back and stay out of it. I heard an expression a while back that really freed me up from allowing myself to be pulled into undesirable situations, particularly in the workplace: "What other people think of me is none of my business."

I'm sure many others have succumbed to or been the target of gossip. It's one of the most destructive forms of communication that I can think of. Actually, gossip isn't even worthy of being classified as communication. I would say it falls under the category of "Blah, blah, blah."

So, what do you do with this burden of a clue? Simply put, you communicate with the party or parties involved. Experience has taught me that it is not so much in what you say but how you say it.

Here's an example: A friend of mine was putting away the laundry and innocently came across some unusual items in her teenager's sock drawer -- a bag with some strange looking green stuff, something that resembled a tobacco pipe -- well, you get the picture. I thought for sure she would be out the door and headed off to the school to unleash her wrath.

But instead, she neatly placed all of the items in a shoebox, waited for her teenager to arrive home from school, then after dinner while everyone was taking in some TV, she placed the box on her teenager's lap and waited for the response. Silence fell over the room.

Her teenager looked inside the box, let out a sigh and said, "Busted." What followed was a family conversation, not a screaming match.

The results were ... I'll say pretty positive. And the fact that their discussion revolved more around concern rather than berating made all the difference in the world. Of course there were consequences to be paid, but the roof on the house was still intact.

Having the burden of a clue is, in all, a good thing. I will be the first to admit that there have been days I wished I were an ostrich. But as I said earlier, nothing does it for me more than knowing the truth.

I've heard it said that knowledge is power. But that doesn't always necessarily mean it's the truth. Knowledge exists between our ears, but truth? Truth exists in our hearts.