1. A MOUTHFUL
At least he's the NFL draft's No. 1 sandwich pick. A Manhattan Subway store unveiled a larger-than-life sculpted bust of quarterback Robert Griffin III -- expected to be taken No. 2 by the Redskins on Thursday -- made of barbecue chicken, lettuce, tomatoes and chili peppers. The next thing RGIII might be passing is the Tums.
2. NO-HIT WIT
White Sox pitcher Philip Humber, on CBS' "Late Night With David Letterman," with two of the top 10 things that went through his mind during his perfect game against the Mariners:
"Thank goodness I drafted myself for my fantasy team."
"I see the Red Sox are up 9-0 on the Yanks -- that's an easy win."
3. ALL QUIET IN B.C.
The Canucks got eliminated so early from the playoffs, rioters complained that they didn't even get a chance to finish training camp.
4. GOOD QUESTION
"If the Saints are caught eavesdropping on the Buccaneers," wondered Seattle Times reader Scott Anderson, "would they be charged with an invasion of piracy?"
5. NFL QUIZ
Allegations that Saints GM Mickey Loomis installed a bugging device in the opposing coaches' booth at the Superdome were first reported by: a) ESPN. b) Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times