Norwegians who lost loved ones on Utoya island relived the horror Friday as far-right fanatic Anders Behring Breivik described in harrowing detail how he gunned down teenagers as they fled in panic or froze before him, paralyzed with fear.
Survivors and victims' relatives hugged and sobbed, trying to comfort each other during the graphic testimony.
"I'm going back to my hometown tonight. My husband, he's going to drive me out to the sea, and I'm going to take a walk there and I'm going to scream my head off," said Christin Bjelland, whose teenage son survived the attack.
Breivik's defense lawyers had warned their client's testimony would be difficult to hear. Still, the shock was palpable in the 200-seat courtroom as the self-styled anti-Islamic militant rolled out his gruesome account, without any sign of emotion.
A man who lost a son squeezed his eyes shut, his pain palpable. A man to his left put a comforting hand to his shoulder, while a woman to his right clutched onto him, resting her forehead against his arm.
Tore Sinding Bekkedal, 24, a survivor of the massacre, left the courtroom during Breivik's testimony.
Breivik has confessed to the July 22 bombing-and-shooting rampage that killed 77 people -- 69 on Utoya and eight in Oslo. But he rejects criminal guilt, saying the victims had betrayed Norway by embracing "Islamic colonization."
Breivik's first victims were Monica Boesei, a camp organizer, and Trond Bentsen, an off-duty police officer and camp security guard.
"My whole body tried to revolt when I took the weapon in my hand. There were 100 voices in may head saying 'Don't do it, don't do it,' " Breivik said.
Nonetheless, he pointed his gun at Berntsen's head and pulled the trigger. He shot Boesei as she tried to run away. Then as they lay on the ground, he shot them both twice in the head.
He couldn't remember large chunks of the 90 minutes he spent on the island before surrendering to police commandos. But he recalled some shootings in great detail, including inside a cafe where he mowed down young victims as they pleaded for their lives.
Some teenagers were frozen in panic, unable to move even when Breivik ran out of ammunition. He changed clips. They didn't move. He shot them in the head.
"They cannot run. They stand totally still. This is something they never show on TV," Breivik said. "It was very strange."
Breivik hunted down victims, luring teens from their hiding places by telling them he was a police officer who was there to protect them. When they came out, he gunned them down.
He said his goal was to kill all of the nearly 600 people on the island. He said he had considered wearing a swastika to instill fear, but decided against it because he didn't want people to think he was a Nazi.