1. ONE FOR THE ROSES
The new Marlins Park in Miami includes a fish tank behind home plate and a bobblehead museum with 588 "inductees" on display. Pete Rose's bobblehead, when last seen, was still petitioning to get in.
2. BAD PITT STOP
Pitt linebacker Carl Fleming, who allegedly tried to swallow a plastic bag with a green, leafy substance during a minor traffic stop, has been charged with two counts of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, drug possession and tampering with evidence. On the bright side, though, cops did credit him with half a sack.
3. Rx FOR FUN
Hear about the Cape Cod urologist's Final Four special? Watch hoops, get a reduced-rate vasectomy and eat free pizza. No word whether, in keeping with the theme, he was charging by the slice.
4. ONE-AND-DONE DEPART
"Augusta National might admit a female member?" tweeted Dan Daly of the Washington Times. "My money's on her to win the mixed-pairs club championship -- for the next decade."
5. TALKING THE TALK
Kentucky coach John Calipari, to
reporters, when asked if it's difficult to get young blue-chip talent to jell as a team:
"I'll tell you what's hard -- coaching bad players."
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times