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Avoid getting a roommate

Dear Abby: My fiancee and I are living in a studio apartment owned by her mother. We're currently looking for another place to live, and can't decide whether or not to get a two-bedroom and a roommate.

We both know the pros and cons of living with other people, and I have a potential roommate I trust completely. But I'm apprehensive because I had a roommate once before and it wasn't a great experience.

I don't want to make the wrong decision and lose either a friend or a future wife because of money, hurt feelings or anything else. Please advise.

-- Mike in Florida

Dear Mike: Living together, as you have probably already learned, requires adjustment on the part of all of the parties concerned. While you trust this friend to be a responsible roommate, what if something unforeseeable were to happen and the person should have to unexpectedly move out? Would he or she be on the lease with you? Could you pay the rent without the help of another roommate? How would you manage if the roommate were to have a live-in, too?

Because of these questions, it might be better to take a place with one bedroom to avoid possible complications.

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It's all in the thought

Dear Abby: Is it appropriate to send anniversary flowers to a widow? My husband's grandfather just passed away, and this will be his grandmother's first wedding anniversary as a widow.

Etiquette guides conflict in their advice regarding sending anniversary cards and flowers to widows. Would flowers be inappropriate? If not, what should the delivery card say?

-- Sentimental in Keller, Texas

Dear Sentimental: Sending flowers would be a kind and thoughtful gesture. The card could read, "You're in our thoughts and in our hearts. With love " If you live near your husband's grandmother, offer to invite her over or take her out to dinner so she won't be alone.

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