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Five Spot / Quick hitters on the light side

1. FAVRE FAREWELL

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre (above) said he is retiring for good this time after a disappointing, injury-filled season. A full text of his final news conference is available, but Favre has no plans to send it to anyone.

2. NOT-SO-BIG 10

The Big Ten lost five football bowl games on New Year's Day, some by large margins. As a result, the conference's new division names will be changed from "Legends" and "Leaders" to "Bludgeoned" and "Bleeders."

3. TURKEY IN THE STRAW

Monday, in case you missed it, marked the 123rd anniversary of the patent on the paper drinking straw. Or as comedy writer Jerry Perisho put it: "The biggest breakthrough in sucking history, until the L.A. Clippers."

4. PUTTING FOR DOE?

A golf-course maintenance worker in Michigan has confessed to deer-hunting from a golf cart, The Associated Press reported. Which certainly gives "What did you shoot?" a whole new meaning.

5. PAPERED TIGERS

Talk about a BCS clash of cultures. "In Eugene," wrote Bob Welch of the Eugene Register-Guard, "you threaten to decorate trees with toilet paper after a win -- as is customary at [Auburn's] Toomer's Corner -- and you'll have tree-huggers chaining themselves to the trunks."

-- From News Wire Services

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