Dear Abby: My neighbor "Marlon" and I have been "friends with benefits" for almost two years. We hang out every day and our kids are friends. We have attempted to hide our affair from our children (8 years old and under) and from our exes.
My problem is, Marlon recently mentioned that he wants to find a "good woman." It upset me because I'm in love with him. At the same time, he makes no effort to meet anyone. He is always with me -- when you'd think he'd be out trying to meet women. Although we agreed to be "FWBs," I don't want to be Marlon's security blanket. How do I let him know I want more?
-- Loves My Neighbor
Dear Loves Your Neighbor: Revisit the subject with Marlon and ask him how many "good women" he thinks he can handle, because he already HAS one. It couldn't hurt to mention that you are in love with him and have taken your relationship seriously.
If one woman isn't enough for him, you will have to start looking for a good man -- one who won't monopolize your time and take you for granted. Please understand that if Marlon is serious about looking elsewhere for someone to settle down with, you cannot invest any more time or emotion in him.
It's time for a change
Dear Abby: You frequently recommend readers seek therapy. I have been in therapy for eight years and see very little progress. Do you have any statistics that prove how helpful therapy actually is?
-- Skeptical in San Francisco
Dear Skeptical: Although I don't have statistics, I do have testimonials from individuals who have found therapy to be beneficial. I have printed some of them in this column. I do, however, have a suggestion for you: After eight years and "very little progress," you may be with the wrong person, and you should seriously consider changing therapists.