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Torture -- by swim suit

You can't avoid them as they burden the racks in the clothing department. Heaps of brightly colored Lycra and Spandex, all so inviting on the shelves but so horrifying in the dressing room. That's right ... it's time to buy a new swimsuit.

Any girl can tell you that finding the right swimsuit is not only a very time-consuming process, but is often a painful reminder, that no, the last Miss America was indeed not you. Swimsuits, with their strappy, revealing, skin-tight nature are not the ideal things for hiding figure flaws. Many times I have gazed into the dressing room mirror and seen with disgust that for some strange reason, the person I see before me resembles a blimp. And her legs aren't smooth enough. And her curves aren't curvy enough.

The only remedy to this situation is, of course, a visit to the nearest ice cream place at the mall food court. But I digress. The point is, perhaps one of the most powerful and mundane forms of torture is shopping for swimsuits. Any female over the age of 13 who enjoys shopping for swimsuits is secretly hated by every other over-13 female in the country.

If the fact that very few people actually look remotely good in a swimsuit under fluorescent lighting doesn't deter you, the prices will. For some reason these small scraps of material are usually ridiculously expensive. If on the off-chance I have found a suit that looks less than hideous on me, the price tag immediately dissipates any sense of satisfaction I might have felt. The next staggering discovery is that is the price for just one of the pieces, given that two-piece suits are about the only thing anyone can find that looks remotely modern.

Once someone actually manages to find a reasonably priced and attractive top or bottom, the battle is only half over. Unfortunately, once you find the perfect top, the perfect bottom disappears from the universe. Either the matching bottom is not the right size or the matching bottom is just not up to the top's caliber. Thus the cycle begins again. The perfect bottom will very rarely ever match the perfect top. So after hours of searching for a flattering bottom to compliment your incredible top, and maybe another trip to the ice cream place, it is possible that you have found your new and complete swimsuit.

Of course, now it means that, in true Buffalo style, the weather will turn against you in the form of a never-ending cold front, completely eliminating any opportunities for pool parties, days at the beach, or sunbathing.

Oh well, there's always next year.

Chloe Lake will be a senior at Clarence.

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