With critics telling the "Idol" judges, "Don't Be Cruel," too many Memphis applicants bring the 'tude and not the talent.
Leading the cheers: After Frank Byers Jr. is tossed out for being "too theatrical," his cheerleading team meets him in the hallway with chants and music. Simon Cowell gets his undies in a wad and emerges to snap, "Not being rude, but can you shut up?!" Note to Simon: Saying "Not being rude, but . . ." doesn't make it not rude.
Soaring: An offbeat character named Jason "Sundance" Head -- he says his folks were hippies, but his dad is also Roy Head, who had a 1965 hit with "Treat Her Right" -- not only gets a ticket to Hollywood, but leaves Simon muttering that Sundance's audition bested Taylor Hicks.
Little minx: One look at Danielle McCulloch's blondy hair and pouty face and it's clear she'll get Simon's vote. Paula agrees and Danielle is off to Hollywood, a Kellie Pickler type wearing a top that looks like a bead shop explosion.
Hair guy: The hirsute Sean Michel, who says he is often told he looks like Osama bin Laden, Jesus or Fidel Castro, sings a soulful Johnny Cash tune. He and Sundance will be the best makeovers -- decent looks might lurk under their unfortunate facial hair.
Refreshing change: Melinda Doolittle, a professional backup singer, blows the judges away with a sweet and nuanced version of "For Once in My Life." She's shaking as they tell her yes! You have to like Philip Stacy, whose wife has their second daughter the day he auditions -- and gets sent to Hollywood.
Paula Watch: On Day One, she's fairly lucid. On Day Two, she hugs half the city as she stumbles into the auditions, slurs that she likes Stevie Wonder and protectively holds her own blouse closed when the gyrating Janita Burks almost falls out of her dress.
Tomorrow: New York tryouts.