>The fat of the land
Shopping with our mom, Buzz kvetched copiously about the pounds we had gained over Christmas, and she never said, "No, dear, you're not fat," the way moms are supposed to. A bad sign! So back we go onto the South Beach Diet Internet forum. The community! The consolation! One dieter's bulletin read: "Looking for those who love Jesus and are starting Jan. 2." Another answered: "Hi, I love my Lord Jesus with all my heart. Last year I lost 35 pounds. I let foolishness take over and have regained most of it." A Buddhist weighed in: "I hope you don't mind people with other beliefs being here! I love Lord Buddha. Jesus was a great man too!" One thing unites us all, and that is trying to fit into our jeans.
>Up to bat
You've heard of bats in the belfry. Now welcome their first cousins, bats in the sanctuary. They had one of those Sunday at Hope United Methodist Church in Sanborn. The minister more or less ignored the critter, which hung there in full view of the congregation. "She just went back to her sermon," a friend reports. We say, why be reticent? The church, in the shadow of Schimshack's (try saying that phrase quickly -- it's fun), is a mighty old building. Besides, as one Buffalonian says, "Almost everyone has a bat story."
>Bright lights, big city
Buffalo is on the move! Not long ago, we were in Amaryllis, the restaurant on North Street, and met a bassist from Dallas who had just auditioned for the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra. He was staying at the Lenox. "All the hotels were full," he said. "There are conventions and stuff." Hmmm, Buzz mused. A Tuesday, and our hotels are full. Interesting. Last weekend, on Chippewa Street, we saw polished taxis -- bright blue, a Crown Vic and a Lincoln, labeled Buffalo Transportation. Hmmm, we thought. Spiffy taxis. That's a change. Plus, a few nights ago, 'round midnight, there were massive official trucks on our street, chopping up tree branches. That, too, was new. "This doesn't feel like Buffalo," said Howard, the guy we married. "This feels like the Town of Tonawanda."
>To die for
They make us swoon, the hefty specials at Camellia Meats, the new kid on the butcher block at the Broadway Market. They offer the Big Picnic. And the Tiny Tummy. (Don't be fooled. In any other city, it would be called the Big Belly.) Most seductive was the Breakfast Package. You get a gallon of milk, two quarts of orange juice, two dozen eggs, two pounds of bacon, two pounds of sausage, and one pound of, and we quote, Solid Margarine, for $24.95. Such a deal! But Buzz appears to be the only person in Camellia's long history who actually tried to take advantage of it. "We don't have half that stuff on hand," the clerk said. "You'll have to go to our other store, on Genesee." A minor setback. Get out of our way!
Observe, a chance to party for the police! Sunday at 3 p.m., a Nietzsche's music marathon features Mir Ali, Babik, Annie Philippone, BPO violinist Amy Glidden and other great talent. Donations ($5 is suggested) benefit injured officers Patricia Parete and Carl Andolina.
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